IT WAS ME, THEY WERE NEVA WRONG....

I’m shubendu mandal , cse 3rd yr.....
but this incidence was when i was in the first year....
“ noooo... need to go” mom odered over phone....she thought m a kid .. due to several reasons
1) First experience living in hostels
2) And m her only son
3) After all she Is my mom

It wasn’t that i ignore whateva she advice...but i was in a habit..! habit of doin where i found extreme fun...
the chain smoking stuff and beer night is what described the real FUN... but indian moms have a sixth sense abt thr children..
i rembr when i had the first drag of a ciggarette and was coughing ... just then mom called over phone.. “ sunny beta dont fall into bad habits..” ...
as i said , sunny was already into the habits of “fun”.
So for my mom i was in hostel but it was pondy where i was for my weekend....The beach ,resort and the the valid atmosphere to get high ......
At nite about two we sat in the relaxing cool of auro beach...After having three quaters of signature.. i heard jatin callin
“ sunny whe u goin man”
“ its morning i need to take bath else mom gonna scold me...”
“oh momma’s boy u already drunk”said sumeet...
“ u r drunk, u bloody f***ing frenzs spoilt me...”i said.
Everyones drunk energy laugh was all i could hear....
As i walked in the dark inside the sea... i swimmed for a distance... oh my god it was hellu va fun .... i felt i as if i was floating like apiece of log... and those ppl appeared like little ants..
JATIN !!!!!! HELP...this is what i sopke when i could not feel the land down my legs... i tried so hard to swim but all my energy was gone .. i was sinkin sinkin down in the sea...
HELP HELP!!!!!............
As i was falling freely by my feets down into the deep dark sea... dark may be because i closed my eyes cause may be i knew sunny has jus few seconds to go... i saw dad picking me after school, scolding me for all the school reports, the day i was thrashed by my favorite teacher at school... and the “sayoni “ song dedicated to sneha... i remembered her's was the face i neva forgot even though i tried to...
The water moved through my mouth ,nose to fill my lungs.i gave up pulling my self ..as i knew there was no chance to survive...mom’s sixth sense brought a rollin warm liquid down my eyes....
Like a flash back i saw all the stuffs happened in my life ... was this the purpose of my birth.
But i wanned to be alive ... how obivously i dreamt of dad to reach out his hand to save me like the time i learnt swimming..................................................................................................................................................

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Like a fountain , the water was oozing outta my mouth..
I rembred the last time i closed my eyes , i was sure tat l could neva open it again...
I saw JATIN , SUMEET, ASHISH, AND ROHIT ....AND PERHAPS THE LIFE GAURD...
“ ur mom ” rohit gave my cell phone
“ MOM” and the next i found myself sinking.. THIS TIME IT WAS MY VOICE

MY CRUSH/LOVE DON’T COST A THING

a secret crush since three years..my god !!!! i rembr the day i saw him when he came and sat beside me during 1st year: the model exams .thanks SRM for shufflin seniors and juniors during exams.. i never thought i would ever fall in love with a popular guy... by the way who is gonna fall in love with a girl like me... big frame golden rimmed spectacles, dark skin, and few extra pounds.what is left out pimples huh.... ?.
“You just need a make over , thats it .” said komal my sweet rocking roomie(sometime i feel she is made for vipul). . And go pubbing he should know what jas is.?.. and rembr just ignore him, he ll understand you..!
thoughts dissappeared and....
ONE FINE DAY
I knew no matter what ever i do vipul wont notice me. Rather i was feeling terrible.. the scarlet nail polish were as if the disco lights fixed and me was ready to dance like mithun da “ i’m a disco dancer.. pa para parap”.. the lipstick and gloss over it,made my lips heavy and fall down like a sad smiley.. but i rembr how komal told me to keep a smile every time and not to walk like a haunched back and how to ignore vipul..
.”just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”.. her words ringing in my head.. okie komal ll do it this time ..sure...?!!!
Alone i sat there in the sophisticated chair , and saw the pub tender crushing the ice cubes...
“ hey gal ,nice dress” as i turned .. ah there stood my same old 3 yr dream crush ( just ignore him babes,thn he ll understand you”)
“ thanks” and i turned away to order “ vodka : ice in blue”.
“ ice in blue , hmm good taste haan, neways m vipul”
Looking at him and for the first time to his squinted (a bit )eyes i found .. i found....
“ just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”
( komal!!! bad timing)
Ice in blue in one go.. no i wasnt drunk ,may be his presence made me high...
Is it that my medulla wasnt working ... “ vipul malhotra , you r the biggest torture of my life .. whenever i see you i feel like a dumbo.. i feel the ugliest being born..and u knw what ur attitude sucks.and yes m ur junior.might not have noticed rite..” nothing was visible to me any more.. i snatched the capiroska glass frm vipul..
“dont mix drinks”shouted vipul
no matter how strong it was ..nanoseconds : the whole drink inside me... NOW what is called a medulla?

I found someones hand supporting me ... opened my eyes to found vipul... . “ ll love you as i have been frm ages... you can break my heart its with you.. always and forever.. vipul...”
“i’m there” ofcourse it was him. He put me in back in that sophisticated chairs... the sound of the pub tender crushing the ice... “
TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN
“jassss switch off that shit alarm” shouted komal..
“ a dream!!!!!!!!!!! komal i just had a dream of vipul”
“ when u don’t.. huh.. sick u r!!!”komal spoke as if she was pissed off...
“ no he was speakin to me actually” i spoke wearing my big framed golden rimmed spectacles..
komal spoke “ JUST IGNORE HIM BABES,THEN HE LL UNDERSTAND YOU”

I NEED AN ANSWER

“ paanch rupiya” said the coffee wale bhaiya

i took out the ten rupee note from my purse .. looking at shilpi i said. “ shill do you need coffee”
she was damn busy reading the magazine that i guessed “no” is what she said...
the coffee was almost overflowing ...few drops spilled on my kurti...f*** men, a awful journey in the sleeper class, and this coffee stain on my favorite kurti...and yet more four hours to reach bhubaneswar...and this i-pods battery is over.. bloody bad day..

i tried to look through the window to find out what was the station. But it was almost dark ... may be a small halt.. not a station for main trains. God i ll neva take train if so then not in sleeper class atleast.

Just then many ppl rushed inside our compartment. And soon it was packed with weird smell. And a whole lot of noise. And a man abusing his wife for she didnt listen to what he said. I guess these ppl had no resevation as they sat in the floor covering up all the passage.

an old woman made herself way to sleep in the floor just near ma seat,she almost kept her head touching ma feet. Near to the rlc seat , in the passage sat his grandson.
He was almost five year old ,a torn monkey cap ,a taterred with finely absorbed dirt sweater was what he had for the freezing cold. He was almost sleepy, i could see how badly he needed his sleep.
But each times his eyes dropped i see ppl kicking him while making their way through the passage. One after other they kicked him, he woke up every time, ppl abused him as he sat on their way. Every time they kicked and abused him he kept his head down and said “ maffi de do sahib”.(oh god his tounge cldnt even pronounce properly.). for some ppl his words were irritating. They knowingly kicked him again and went on.
As i looked at him i found some thing wet rolling down ma cheeks. Was i crying for this..?
Shilpi came and sat beside and said “ what happened why r u crying , we r goin home nah, don worry next time we ll book in ac, pakka..”
Though the tears stopped but the reason was not this.

“y shill these ppl r not born to our fate, and look at him how polite he is to every one, but he gets just the opposite frm them??”
“ see jasmin u cant find a reason .actually there is no reason.. no one can answer this.but some how we can conclude . we can say may be his karma the last birth so y he has born to a poor family ... and the ppl bein rude to him are fools as they are preparing themselves to be like him the next birth”
“ i don need conclusions i need y is it happening , a five year old cant be judged from his past births if so then ll have to delete the word like kids and innocence from the dictionary”
Shilpi didnt answer or may be she couldn’t
“ oye aja idhar baithe ( come here and sit)” shilpi called the boy near to our seat . he came and sat down near to his grandma’s head, away from that passage seat.within few seconds his eyes dropped..and hes wasnt disturbed frm what he wanted.. the sleep
The sleeper class didnt make me feel awful anymore..
I could just now but laugh at the coffee stain on my kurti....
perhaps I GOT THE ANSWER... ?????? or i need to SEEK FOR IT...........