"Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make sense any more."
~ Rumi

Hey Yourself!

That day she decided to go for a movie . She walked  awhile until she reached Imax and booked the ticket. With a large popcorn box and coke in the other hand ,she  sat on the most comfortable seat.  There was this guy beside , he must have come unaccompanied ,she thought but arrived a girl and sat alongside him , and when ideas  looked clear she smiled and turned the other way to see what she assumed . They smiled at each other ,on track with small talks . They stood up for National Anthem.  He tried to begin a conversation but everyone stared at him for the noise in the middle of a silent movie. But they smiled at all and sundry

Well in the interval ,she wanted to converse  as well.They went out  in the intermission. The movie they never liked. “Should we go out somewhere. Seriously,the movie sucks”. She could not agree more.

They went out of the multiplex, it was awhile of a stormy weather. Her  hairs flew back and fouth  and they smiled at each other like always.  She nudged him with her elbow to show him the chai and the wada pav stall . Cutting chai, wada pav and the weather. Bliss!

And they both got wet.. They  smiled again. So after facing the drizzling rain for about fifteen minutes, he offered her to come to his home where he lived with his family and change to her sisters clothes. Her place as near too. But she was new to the city, if she said no she would not know few more people in his family.

She walked along with him. Walked for a while from his gate to the hall and reached his room. His Mom smiled and his sister gave her   casuals to wear.  She went to  the washroom to change. And when she came out ,he was standing there, dressed in dry clothes ,his hairs a bit wet. He slipped his feet for a moon walk  to reach  the remote and played the song .

“Pretty woman walking down the streets…  “ they karaoke with the song and danced around his room. His sister joined to sing and his mother  smiled and watched them from the door. Everyone started to laugh and breathtaking when the music stopped.

So why she wondered  they had this plan to meet as strangers for a day? 

I am where I should be!

5 year old ,best friend cried ,when I left the school

My father, to swim,made me jump into the pool

The bed time stories,my mother ,as she told

Life is beautiful  and magical as the stories unfold

Try as your might, to pass  all  the semster

The group we studied less and laughed more

Fickle was the mind, loud was the voice,rebel

Joined very one to change the system ,we fail

May be a little selfish, to fall for a cute guy

In college ,looking at him the days passed by

He smiles and exactly almost there I freeze

And he when calls , almost dead when he agrees

The job I got through , may be totally by fluke

But we were all smart like princess and duke

Having lunch with lame guys, we were so(o) broke

The juniors and farewell that made everyone choke

The day when my mother talked me to meet you

 Hates to see someone strange, out of the blue

First meet, and you hear the chronicles of Jasmin

And I laugh every time on your  tale of seventeen

As I sleep and dream, someone writes down my fate

It is going to be beautiful as it was amazing  till date

VOID!

I  talked to someone this spring
My long lost friend gave me a ring
 for  not around my finger,but Skype
And as ever asked me about my life

Well, Honey I am just doing right
why the hell were you out of sight
Said I always thought for your best
Now, tell me all and  about the rest

To say you it, i miss you till date
Even if I am calling so very late
On a moment like this ,sadness
Glad,you have friend , to access

Successful you are now mister
no place left ,you didn't conquer
It for you i followed my dream
You guide me when I went off-beam

I can't Forget the second of October
the smiles,hope that you remember
Wasn't it a long time ago,I guess
Life was easy yet in a total big mess

My God,Mature you have become
Yeah,time makes you over come
But i still believe in it the same
Doesn't bother me if it's lame

It's a change that makes you choose
It's true all good things,you lose
You liked those days,in love,in red
All that remain is a complete VOID

The LIGHT!

Chandran, I met him in the lobby of my office,where he sat with a visitor pass. As a kid I remember ,my Mom scared me saying he hallucinates ,goes all cranky and my grandpa makes  him drink water filled with cow dung so that he becomes normal. He was there to meet me and give me my home tucks that  my mother sent through him.

One afternoon,I must be 8 , I woke up to the noise , my neighbour said Chandra has got ghost into him . My mother ran to see him  , I went behind her.  There was Chandra , like a rebel fighting for the freedom of its soul, he flunged eveyone away. Four giant hulk  folks were not enough to power him down. He was trying to batter his brother . Some said its my grandmother , she never liked her eldest son. And indeed , it was a voice of a woman. my mother turned and saw me witness the whole event and slapped me on my face.

One summer vacation at grandpa’s place, I went to the terrace . Chandra was talking to himself , upon seeing me he asked “ your grandma says that you must study well and become an IAS officer and earn respect. But Mother, she should be what she wants to be “..he was again taking to himself and I was scared . I had to collect my books that  I left at the terrace .

“did you see the light ,like a rainbow,but of a single yellow color” he asked.

I asked him “where?”  may be I was curious.

He said he can’t point at it.I was so scared that I wished my mom comes to my rescue and whacks me again.

Suddenly I saw him drop to the ground and his mouth lathered. Now I know it was an epileptic attack. Chandran was then sent to rehab for an year , he recovered completely as they said. Currently, he is a professor at IIT Kanpur, married,two college going kids .I never saw him after that incident up until today.

He has grown relatively old .I took him to the cafeteria. He gave me the stuff my mother sent me .” I have a message for you .The light you will grasp soon and she was dishonest ,be what you want to be .She visits you and she is miserable to see you forlorn.You shoud get married.She glimpses a cheerful  life in your future.And she can’t wait” I started laughing and said “Uncle, I know my mom has sent this message through you. She wants me to get married. “

He revealed me the fact that he never went to the rehab at Mangalore instead he went to Delhi and was a yoga instructor there and then he completed his education. Now,He  just keeps everything to himself not even his wife. He has made peace with images and its light he sees. He says they guide and influence him.

As were leaving the cafeteria, my college friend bumped into me and said “Jasmin, I guess you are taking too much  of stress at work.You can talk to me , stop taking to yourself all alone”. I saw Chandran walk past me and disappear with the distance . A yellow patch of light persisted  in a certain corner angle of my right eye.

Love you like a Dream!

After  a thousand of discussion with Neal, finally I was there to meet his Dad,Mr.Rajiv. And after reading the book, i so want to meet the writer. Of course I aspired to be one.

In Darjeeling , it’s a remarkable attraction, and  beauty retains when you maintain.

I  have been driving almost 5 kms of striking  isolated area, when I finally came to Neal’s  place.

Neal came to receive me along with his elder sister. Mr.Rajiv was sitting in the sofa near to the  fire place. Mr.Rajiv was old and weak, he moved in his wheelchair with the help of a full time servant. Neal says his memory fades..

I saw Neal’s Mom . She was very pretty , her pony tail long enough to touch the ground. When I saw Rajiv his eyes , they reflected the same gleam I see in her’s. They must be totally in love.

As I entered Rajiv tried to greet me trying a bit to stand but he couldn’t. I was embarrassed, I greeted him back with a “ Hello Sir”

“Call me Rajiv, so does Neal and his sister. I feel young.  “ he said as he laughed.

“ The answer you seek. May be it lies with me.I will review your book” he added

I was not sure if I am going to tell him everything , I always thought it is intimidating. I could not start , wouldn’t it break his heart to re-visit the past?

“ Don’t worry, I would always like to go into the past as it my daily dose for happiness. To be there.”

Seeing him weak , I wanted to ask him about his health. This man who coached everyone at school of sportsmanship , is now old and gentle.

“Jasmin , you don’t have to say anything” Neal said.

“Yes,I know your curiosity and also everything is so much practical and faster moving in your generation.And I am proud to say Neal and his sister are good at completing other’s feeling“he said and looked at Neal’Mom,unbelievable resemblances  in their smiles. It pleased me how much he has put in for his children.

I never fell in love until I was 23 , when I was sure, found the right person as I thought to break my silence and may be a bit of me broke too..

Rajiv said “ The worth of love and unconditional love,  I understood now,on a wheel chair”

I met her when I was 23, the same town you guys went to school. she fell in love with me. She said her feeling , I said her I want to be a writer. And so shall she dreamt with me, the year when we were 23 , I never let her go. We were always together like two beans in a pod. Like we say everyone has the initial phase of knowing each other, it never passed for us. Until , I decided to leave  for my responsibility back home in Calcatta, my mother was sick. 

She was so supportive and never asked me about the future. While I left  she said “ Rajiv dear, be the writer you want to be”. Like you guys we didn’t have any means of contact, postcards were never the option as it always reached the girlfriend’s father. As the train was leaving I saw the tree just outside the station , as the tree faded,when I realised all my memories with her going to fade too. I never wanted to miss the sunset, hugs, talks,fights ,her smile. I thought I will get down at the next stop, and every station I thought so until I reached Calcatta,I never got the guts.

There he was in an isolated place where their love blossomed. I already  knew the rest of the story . It was in the book.

“Jasmin , as you think love is the same. It is a dream, if you want it to be practical ,then its not love.

I was speechless when he asked me “ any part of the book I have ever experienced”

I knew no one who sees my dreams  .What is there to hang in when its no worth. Rajiv’s love story was put into so many tests. She never left his side. I can’t imagine anyone will do for their love that way.

After our lunch, I was sitting on the sofa while everyone was taking a nap. I stared at Neal’s mom Photograph. Her long hairs, her love filled eyes. She must have been 30s when she died. Why did Rajiv never moved on? . it looked she will come back to life how thankful  she to him for keeping her love immortal in his heart and raising their kids all alone .No, I think   if she would come out of the photograph she will  fight with him for not forgetting her , for living in a very isolated place alone(so what if it was their dream place to grow old with eachother )and for not marrying someone else. But when he will say“he was happy remembering her everyday, writing her” she would calm down and hug him back.

I thank Neal for introducing me to the book and its author Mr. Rajiv.

Once bitten,twice shy!

Most of the time,  we say it’s so(o )Bollywood-ish.  When the hero wants to be a Rockstar, he got all the talent, but lacks urge (may be) ,something he was deficient in. He was asked “Dil kabhi toota hai?” ( did you ever had a broken heart?). So to platform his creativity he ends up  asking  out the prettiest girl in college , the machine that breaks heart”. 

Do we ever design and love? May be we fall in love to grasp what it is to have a broken heart, and it’s repercussion. So that we can with no trouble  to comprehend the circumstances where  he/ she expletives  in heart-ache( dil ki toh lag gayi). Like Mandaar was on his approach to commit suicide  in a tree and Ram happened to pass by. Ram had so many relationships before that it’s not even funny. All Mandaar wants to die , he has slightest attention  in his chores , Ram pulls him together ,mends him,gives him a position in his company even if he made shameless mistakes initially for all obvious reason .Exactly  how  Ram got the picture and  helped  a random stranger?And after revitalization Mandaar says “ Ram ,you are an angel”.. Will we fix someone? I will .Because that phase just pauses life entirely until someone like Ram comes in.I had few Ram around  to collect  the pieces .And  I know why?

Love is a miracle,irrespective of once ,twice or…  the magic remains the same.  Falling in love with the same person twice.  First we need to forgive them , but can we forget what we went through the phase when we were like Mandaar, What will Ram think about it? Ram put all his effort to get over. But what we do, fall in love with them all over again. Are we blessed enough to get Ram  to save us again?

Can’t miss it!

A 5 year old boy , sitting with his Dad in a Bike , enjoying the monsoon . So Peaceful!




As a child may be till present, I get this now and then spasm when individuals are not equal. And millions of question pops into my head “ why?”. Hate the rich , love the poor. Why can’t they get some food to eat, why they die when someone else wastes.



But that 5 year old makes me think that the most important form is to stay together at peace. Enjoy the small things we have around us , when ever you are at fault ,just think of this boy , is it worth planting a bomb?is it worth hurting someone? Is it worth cutting down the trees? Is it worth to runaway than to bring in a change?

Let’s think as we do some pieces of our life off-track , we destroy the kids innocence.

….

It's Tomorrow Again!

The day has begun,from the bed ,you wake up
Get ready put up your fake smile and make up
Tick-tock ,you run with the time, late to job
Everyone is insane ,if you are Jacob or Bob

To be rich ,to be good-looking and shinning
Your day is gone by dreaming and fate designing
You ignore the girl,with you beautifully matching
You need money, brain and hard work combining

You ,by all means again look for an easy way
with something more richer you would stay
And she missed ,she cried as she felt you betray
In love with you, a lot of things she had to pay

Easy way you loose, and you lost your chance
You search for her but not even a little glance
She is happy obviously makes her beauty enhance
She got everything for someone,dance and Romance!

You miss the love too,you want her back,
Already made peace with things she lack,
You want to confess, by not keeping her in dark.
You sincerely want to seal the heart that has a crack

(to be cont…)

10 things for you!

Yes, You are not here , away helping a few, serving your purpose of existence. That’s what I like about. But even if you stop serving the world, I will still adore you. I care the thought you have now and I will cherish it a life time.

Yes,I miss you. You once helped me too. When I put myself in a shell. You dragged me into the rain, held my hand. made me feel my soul, miracles of life, the little drops of rain and my smile, I fell in love with me all over again.

So,today I dedicate this day unbroken to you and your favorites


1.walked down  the streets of koregoan , the drizzling rain remind me of you.



2. reached sweet chariot ,found your favorite Kiwi Cake. Had a bite. It never tasted so(o) good.



3. Went for bowling in your preferred alley. I had two strikes. Wish you were there too



4. Bought a rimless glasses, looked myself at the mirror. The frame were just like yours.



5. On my way home, dropped by  at your place, flowers for your favorite lady, your MOM



6. Your liftman, to whom you always lend your smile. When he smiled at me. I remembered you and your smile.



7. Met Marco at my building. I am sure he missed you too . I instructed him to sit , but the way he jumps at you. He did the same. Yes, you also taught me to be loving towards Dogs. They are just kids looking for attention.



8. Listened to your favorite song “stairway to heaven”. EPIC!



9. Went to CCD, read “Cnnecting Dots” both for you and me. Must say you are a think tank.



10.I am sure I must have seen you in my dreams. And wished it to be true ..



Lots of Love,

Jasmin

One Saturday Night!

Xin, she is the biggest a**hole ,I can call my friend. I regret it,

Given a choice , I would delete her from my life’s book. But the fact is we don’t let go seven years of friendship for just a chewing gum episode.

Oh yes! That incident shook everyone, Perhaps they thought Xin is suppose to die.

Saturday it was , How we all wanted to go GOA but ended up in radio shack. A shack minus the beach wear or the sight of beach in that case :P .Xin,tall, chineese ,obviously eyes not that defined, Or more than that she is blind( Ahh!! I hate her as I am writing this Post).


First Stop at Stu ‘s Place , It was his birthday and he had no money to treat us. SO why it was house Party and then going to a not so happening Place called some shack it seemed.

Point to be noted not all firangi settled in India are rich. And not all in Pune come for Osho but all of them I know work dedicate for reputed NGOs.

Lets talk about Xin here, She got this huge role to play in the upcoming paragraph.


Perhaps the whole thing was destined to happen, I mean that day we decided to go in a car,for just a 100m destination. And it was all random, Xin was the choosen one to sit beside me And Amit was the Happy one to offer HAPPY Dent to everyone.Xin had three of those together (can you imagine the only one who took that bl**dy chewing gum) , All so excited , who cared where Xin threw her Half chewed gum.

My life!!My love , We jumped and hoped!!



Came home , crashed on my bed. Should have checked me in the mirror.. but hey somethings are destined to happen.. So Morning I saw Xin staring at me , that look when she is sh*t sorry about something.. May be she broke good stuff of mine.

“ XIN MORNING” I said …

“Sorry Sorry I think its me, The other night my chewing gum sticked to your hair “ She was sorry may be. I Jumped out of the bed all freaked out. Hate her till now for doing that..

HERE IS ME with all the short hair ,quite manageable now… But I must learn to like them and also XIN may be ..X0X0

Bringing me Peace

Previously,I cursed him to die,
Sorry Eyes all cried out, dry,
Cut my feathers,I couldn’t fly
But still at peace,ask me how?

You must have felt it a bit
Falling in a well dug pit,
An actor following the same skit
Will tell you what changed my mind

I was on my way to office
With my best friend,munching toffees
I told him to look both the sides
There are rules in the road to abide

I heard him scream and cry
Saw blood oozing out his head and eye
All the spectators were standing by
Next was in hospital,with all the life supply

He looked at me , took his last breath
His family affected by his death,
Crying near him,was his girlfriend,Beth
Condolence, Tears all seemed a myth

So there I forgave my ex-love,
The pain he gave me, a lot of
That day I was at peace, a complete stop
Life is nothing but Bad memories to crop!

A Little bit of Everything!

Sometimes he is the child ,young and immature

wants you to play back with him

This makes me wonder may be his strict father stole his childhood.





Sometimes he is like a big Daddy, head of the family

Keeps you by your side, Protective

Makes me wonder if his mother was brave to shield her son.





Sometimes he is the romantic lover

Who showers you with gift and surprises

Makes me wonder if his ex taught him so.





Sometimes he is the guardian

Who counsels you when you go wrong

Makes me wonder if , it was a routine with his little sister .







Sometimes he is the hero in his vocation

Who is always the victor who is venerated

Makes me wonder if he was his teachers’ darling.





Sometimes he is happy and colorful like the sky

Who has formulated to content all and sundry

Makes me wonder how much you  have  learnt from your life.

And If I have this little bit of everything ,to be your wife?

You know it already!

We know we know everything, we know what’s wrong and what’s right, how should we be normal. How to handle an emotional outburst. Some of us were taught ,some of us learnt from life. But don’t you think after all this we don’t face it, we do it anyway, we cry like a emotional fool like always




I will tell you my few ways to get over something:



1) KEEP YOURSELF OCCUPIED : here is how you can handle an emotional breakdown. If you have thought like you would crib and cry all the day, you will break a little more .The solution is not to cry but not to give anytime to sob(b) … I was in office like twelve hours a day , I know even a minute of silence breaks me so being a bit longer time in office had its own [perks as salary hike. I don’t know if I loved the job but the fact was I did put all my mind into it to get over that one thing.



2) iLIKE : lets get back to the age where you had a hobby, you were not able to pursue . In my case I love writing and I am back to it perhaps not completely but sooner or later. Yes. Let talk about it. As you do whatever stuff you like, you will be satisfied with yourself , like the purpose would be served, .that is you getting out of that shit time when you just feel lonely like a lot





3) BURN IT DOWN : it is applied if to the ppl who are broken by someone. This shit happens to almost everyone. I mean I didn’t know anyone who hasn’t ,just burn all the memories related to that someone. You can even take a break and visit some place ,come back with not the crying person but the “what the shit I was thinking, How can I fall for someone that dumb and lame”

4) LOVE "ME"I don’t know why I didn’t mention it in the first point but this what is the most important. Love yourself!! No one is ever going to love you if you don’t know how to love yourself. It does not bring you happiness (it can’t keep you happy for a longer time), when you love someone without even noticing yourself, your looks your likes your friends. Go for manicure pedicure (applied to all genders), go shopping ,whatever makes you feel good. Yes if you look good, you eventually feel good.





Well!I am in office, writing and thinking of this will increase the level of shit I am supposed to take today. LOL



CIAO

The Friend!

If you would have asked me anything sometime back like say August last year,

I would have cried. That is how I was so lost and not so found with my confidence. But I will here not talk about my past but present how it is. How I laughed like lunatics this weekend. How a friend gave me an emotional shoulder, when I was broken to death. And how I found my smile and a better than before.



I would not talk about the weekend but that moment when I realised I was laughing my a** off. Yes, a friend who tried to fix my smile, well it was fixed a lil’better. And I din’t want to be alone not for a nano second cause the past would gush into me, it might again break me, I don’t want to visit the place again.





Nice and cold night it was, How it is a blessing to be in Pune, the weather always better than the place I stayed before. I am here not to compare but how amazing I felt to be in the place esp sitting beside a good friend and laughing over , over anything which might not make sense to you at all… not that we never talked anything sensible but what I was so glad about was the very moment in the middle of the night in my terrace , not so looking at the stars , not so holding hands, I started laughing , I was laughing at the joke. Then I realised I was laughing at life, so unpredictable . I could not help but feel my cheeks widened with a smile , I wished my friend saw the dimple on my cheek in the ironic light of the night. I wanted to seal that moment forever. Eventhough I was not infront of the mirror , I was so in love with the transformed “me”. Some few months back ,when I sat infornt of the mirror to smile , but all I could see was a crying me , how I was unable to talk to a stranger, how performed badly in exams and interviews. I was not helping my self.



But that friend made me smile, yes anyday. I never want to lose these moments, but eventually we all fall for the one ,the one who made you smile , actually for the person who brought your smile back ,may be this how we MOVE ON …