LOSING INNOCENCE!!

" mommy !!..i wont have my breakfast .. i'm getting late"..mommy was almost running after me to stuck the aloo ka parantha in my mouth..
the school bus was honking till i reached the bus..mommy was way behind with the plate in her hand..from the movin bus i saw mommy smiling at me...but then i wasn't looking at her... but beside her near the gate i found someone staring at the same food i refused to !!!
what did the young girl lacked..??
a life like me!!but life is not same for everyone ..
a mommy like mine??
may be!!?
or money to buy food??
this sounds quite appropriate!!
what should she do now .. start earning...??
if soo can u explain me "childhood"...

An estimated 158 million children aged 5-14 are engaged in child labour - one in six children in the world. Millions of children are engaged in hazardous situations or conditions, such as working in mines, working with chemicals and pesticides in agriculture or working with dangerous machinery. They are everywhere but invisible, toiling as domestic servants in homes, labouring behind the walls of workshops, hidden from view in plantations.
In Sub-Saharan Africa around one in three children are engaged in child labour, representing 69 million children.
In South Asia, another 44 million are engaged in child labour.
The latest national estimates for this indicator are reported in Table 9 (Child Protection) of UNICEF's annual publication The State of the World's Children.
Children living in the poorest households and in rural areas are most likely to be engaged in child labour. Those burdened with household chores are overwhelmingly girls. Millions of girls who work as domestic servants are especially vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.
Labour often interferes with children’s education. Ensuring that all children go to school and that their education is of good quality are keys topreventing child labour.

COUTERSY : UNICEF.

abhay's weak sick life -2..

ABHAY BITES THE DUST!!

i was staring at the name plate on the table,it said
Dr. P.Muttukumar
Dr.P.Mutthukumar was very lucid by his looks, it took me no seconds to realise to be sure on the fact what he expected before the tests and scan were all true.. like a kid i put my hand behind and crossed my fingers.. but the incredulity was still on my face.. and i knew whatever he ll speak is obvious to upset me...
finally Dr.Muttukumar broke his silence..
"abhay triwedi ,.. the excessive.."
the telephone beside gave loud rings which added on to my nervousness....he picked up the call spoke something in tamil , picked his stehoscope, an hurried out of the cabin.. i just turned to see him go..
one hour passed..i wonder why he was tantalizing me, well Dr. muttukumar i  was almost prepared to listen to the consequences.. i removed my crossed fingers..
"mutthu r u nuts, cant u see abhay is waiting for you.." i thot as eva in my self entered world.. i wonder why people pay such a hiking price to consult him .. i peeped out of the cabin to see a long queue waiting for him...is he really worth it??
his handwriting was the shabbiest thing i have ever seen ...his book shelves had thick books and in one such book where my eyes got stuck was..
TRICHOLOGY BY P.MUTTHUKUMAR ...
I stared at the name plate again ..
Dr.P.Mutthukumar
cosmotologit
MBBS,MD-AIIMS
well obviously no doubt he is worth .. but the point is he worth curing me??
suddenly the silence broked and my thoughts jerked .."sorry abhay "..he put is bulky body in the chair... it was a perfect fit..
he verified my reports again..and finally
"abhay ..there is just one thing performing an hair impantation wont be worthy ..they have side effect like you see..Biofibre are artificially made plastic fibers. They are implanted by special instrumentations using reversible knots. But being foreign body no matter how inert creates complications like infection and immunological rejection and very high number of patients. Even the International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery inshort ISHRS has also recommended caution against its use.... i wont talk much about it...my medications cant cure this baldness of yours..
this is not only because of your earlier alcohol consumption or chain smoking but baldness are genetical too.. so i'm sorry to inform you that getting your natural hairs back is next to impossible.."
i was galvanized some how managed to stand up..my heart experiened a heavy lump..."thank you siR"...
i think he saw me pushing back my tears... "abhay look for the other side always,a positive frame of mind ..think for the other important things ahead of you,rather than to cover the least things..
but i dont know what last hope made me ask him " but sir whats the cost of a hair transplantation"
"ABHAY.. forget it..$11 per hair aprox" he stamped his fist on his table..
I GAWKED...

THE THEORY OF "MOVING ON"/"GETTING OVER"

I sat there with the feelings, feelings that will never be considered and wont bother me after few months when I will be on my own way to some new place ,lost in between new faces,,
The akka picked up my empty can and the half eaten papdi chat plate… sh*t , I could have lend her a smile..
Third page ”cat application”, the lame brain tried to solve . one hundred and fifty minutes and ninety questions to answer. Well to bell the cat was never easy for the super genius ..so lets not talk about my reach for luck.. but overall it was a good distraction from the feelings..huh!! Feelings !!! again tough luck!!!
The helplessly vibrating cell phone displayed “his” name. some stuff gushed up into my heart, I knew it was my overweening pride that has swollen my nose,which made me so irate, not to think of answering the call… but somewhere rather the heart ache continued seeing the call , not being answered…
There he took the opposite table like a secret admirer who follows you everywhere without your prior knowledge.. he smiled . I smiled back
Sh*t!! my!! My!! Poor me!! How could I even forget those insomnia filled nights when I decided neither to smile first nor to smile back…
Waste of feeling on someone.. the one who weakens you, makes you bent down on your knees and fall right down on your face,further that someone forgets to lend a hand to help.. if this “hurt” feeling is called LOVE, then it is destroying me.. but still thanks to him ,it gave me the power to heal the aching heart..
Everyone seemed so friendly except for me and when I raised my head to see him, I found him falling in the same category of exception. Quite!! Very quite!! His eyes fixed to one of the corner of the table as if lost in some deeprooted thoughts,some thing agitating him make his eye brows curve several times.
But who told me to take the blame, where was the overweening pride..sorry!! very sorry!! Please call me once again , I shall speak…dying to speak.
Shall I dial his number, when again I raised my head ..the chair was empty.. huh!!! These esoteric thoughts nearly killed me….
Suddenly I realized that its high time , I didn’t take my medication which was always suppose to flow through my veins.. this drug is necessary for me when the under expressive condition irresolute me..
For that you must have a best friend!!! So I dialed up “THE” number ..
“Pragyan !! ah huh huh.. uwaa!! I hate this life!!!”
“ aww!! Babes !! again depression !! leave it re!!! he is a born jerk… duh!! ..you very well know is is just flirting ..rather a two timing..kill the short feeling honey!! You rock being single..
Two and half hour… the drugs was again all through me…..the life quote shots of my best friend brought my nerves and dimply smile back … now no feelings seeing his name in the call list..
Rather I was overwhelmed seeing my pride or whatever rejoicing over some stupid feelings..ah!!! finally nothing can weaken me NOT EVEN A JUGGERNAUT…

OBJECTION OVER-RULED

YOUR HONOUR!!!
Was I ever querulous ,when I heard those scathing remarks or was I ever happy getting those undeserved compliments. i was yet just so super normal… but still
I’M THE CONVICT
I never promised them because I knew to keep the promise , is a life time process.
The fact that kept me bucolic and rustic,never gave them a chance to like me…. Huh!!
I never brought a tear down, it made my parents sad..
I never spoke to them, as afraid of hurting them ..
There was nothing wrong not even a bloomer. But still I’m accused.

I’M THE CONVICT
I just lend them my smile,where thoughts from between the two lungs, the tiny heart quivered and said; - “expectations hurt!!”. The eyes pushed back the tears.. but its not in our control, the heart and eyes are best friends from aeon…
They paid back some smile, and some went unnoticed. I passed through the aisle ,ppl seating either side of me. They clapped when I fell, but when I stood up with my own support, they were busy munching their popcorns. Just a option left, to leave the show , but somewhere from inside somebody mocked at me : - “coward”… it was the alter ego in me always had its ironic and piercing words to make me alive ,not for anyone else but myself.
But I was quite sure I couldn’t be “selfish” .. I still lost appetite to food when I saw them starving..

I’M THE CONVICT…
The one – anomic who is searching for a identity.the one who is content with originality, the one who still believes on the one who stabbed me and has thousand hopes for the wounds to recover. But when they say that line from the philosophical doctrine “ all the things are predetermined and therefore not alterable.
So who am I to drivel??!!
I’M THE CONVICT
Why is the noise from the crowd now.. why they want the judge to exculpate me…,
The sense of déjà vu on the decision of the de jure made me confirm that the condign was sure!!!
ORDER!! ORDER!!
“ YOU MUST LEAVE GROUND”- GOD- THE DE JURE OF ALL…

ABHAY'S WEAK- SICK LIFE:1

The cell beeped,I put in snooze… but I had to hurry for the college… one month for the semester to get over and I got just 50 percent of attendance…
What happened the previous night.. the hangover and insult at the pub (this ll say in the next blog post) was still not over me…
It was almost 8:25 a.m… I walked out of my block.. stared at the people coming out of the mess.. well it was either to have breakfast or reach college on time… never mind abhay this is your everyday schedule, no breakfast. smiley smiley
It started to drizzle…. Precipitation in any slightest way made me happy because in Chennai summer dominates over all seasons… actually Chennai got just three seasons.. hot hotter and hottest..

I was walking past the not so overflowing lake.. I saw my department2nd yr juniors gathered at the opposite side of the road.. I walked towards them in a intention to ask for a cigarette .. even though I was strictly advised by my doc to quit smoking.. I walked towards my ill – health for a smoke….
Before I could ask them, I pushed my self through the crowd to see – a girl standing out there, confused she looked at me, her hairs long and wet due to rain , one could easily differentiate between the rain drops and tear falling from her eyes… tears running straight down her cheeks...
I came to my senses.. I don need any smoke.. saving her from being ragged is what I wanted then…
“hey guys move on to your class.. its already late” I said calmly..
“ bhaiya , chill.. this is no ragging just an intro…” said prakash..
Before I could reply them, it started to rain cats and dogs… the drizzle turned into heavy drops.. the guys ran for college.. I too thought of moving with them…
But saw this girl… she stood there totally numb… and kept on staring at me…I rubbed out the water falling down of my face and said her “walk with me”in a formal way
She didn’t move ,she still had the shock of not so called ragging . I nudged her so as to make her move .."walk with me" i said formally...she was so slow.. walking with her till the college totally wet was impossiple ..
So I held her hand and gently dragged her to extent of a closed shop. There she stood looking down her feet.. well pedicured nails, this made me remind of shreya ( my girl friend)… she gets her nail paint changed every other day.. in her 15th birth day I gifted her the elle18.. it had colors for all the seven days written on it.. ah remembered the way she hugged me that day. One of pricked dates loving her.. smiley smiley….
Girls are just so conscious about their looks..
“ hi, I’m abhay triwedi, ECE department, two yrs senior to you”
She gave me a innocent look or rather a frowning look..
“don’t worry , I wont ragg you” I laughed a bit.. but no use she still was in a expressionless condition..
Firstly, I was irritated. Secondly I was not interested to any other girl after falling in love with shreya gupta. Somebody just rightly said love happens just once.
Loving shreya was no lust even though we always had a serious make out ..smiley smiley. I developed feelings for her when I was in first semester, away from her and realized how much I missed her. Departure is something that makes u decide and experience…”what is true love”.
I brought my thoughts and temper down.
“hey stop that ,say me ur name??” I managed to fake a laugh.
She wasn’t spilling a pearl from her mouth. I wondered if shreya had been in her place ,she would have blasted those juniors…she is such a smart a**.
I again tried to start up with the conversation..
“hey u gotta a name???”.
“atleast which department” I asked being a bit rude..
I terribly wanted to smoke. It was 9:30, still raining . I’m screwed up with my attendance. and the worst part is- I’m very bad handling girls.(except my girl friend)
Oh God can’t u do something good.. real good… a trouble sealed lips n watery eyed delicate darling with this heavy rain as bonus. thank YOU.
all of a sudden the sun glanced through the heavy clouds. It again drizzled ,the girl started to walk out of the shelter. what was I supposed to do??
Was I rude to her??
I ran and started to walk beside her.
“walking alone ,so you are not afraid of the people ragging you..huh??”
She raised her head and looked up to me but didn’t answer.. well that was nothing surprising ..till now she didn’t answer to any of my question. Was she dumb?
“ your identity card hasn’t been issued, so how seniors recognize you and rag you. Here take it” I said offering my I card. Obviously , She didn’t
“take this” I shouted harshly.
She grab hold of it but with a big question mark on her expression.
“ don’t worry I’ll get it from you when I meet you up with next .. else there is a address of my department, you can give it to me ,if you wish so”
After speaking these stuff I felt like a dumb ,impressing a girl. And knew she will give a more confusing look.
The sun rays fell on her hairs ,giving it a reddish brown outline to the black hairs. I saw her smiling , beautifully . the smile then turned into a big laugh. No wonder it came to me as a huge surprise. I was just staring at her. I smiled back like a fool, I believed it to be some kind of hallucination .
Oh oh ..i had to hurry for the third hour attendance. I ran without turning back . if it had been a hallucination I wanted it to be SO TRUE..smiley smiley..

THE story of " BEING DUMB"

PRESENT

Jesus !!! she wasn’t feeling a bit. She wondered why she was doing a worthless drama.when she that was just infatuation , something that happens to people every other second. the reason was not because he was just a crush. But she thought what she is experiencing for some one else is “ he is just love”

Cheering up her crush at the stage, she knew it was nothing but some false feeling getting exposed. Actually she was in a habit of not expressing the truth which she felt deep with in.

when someone became happy for being cheered by so many girls,in some corner the DUMB thought “ had I been that lucky boy??
But the dumb can never relate that the girl shouting the name of her crush is just to exaggerate the fact the dumb is not being shown any love.
Nobody was bothered to look for the other side. The dumb was loved completely .she thought only about him. Now she was not scared of how unpopular she will become ,when she will be going out with this very unpopular dumb guy.

PAST

Well the reason she has fallen for the dumb guy began when she was naïve ,so innocent to know anything. She was a ugly duckling of her college.when people looked up to her and said “yhew!! get aside”. That was the time the dumb showed her manifold kindness.
Everyone’s obnoxious behaviour was replaced by his “friendship”. He reached to her and held her hand, she felt all the pleasing thoughts by introducing herself to something new called LOVE.

One day she cried not because she was in love with the dumb but she was unable to take the odious comments of the public.
The dumb was fully conquered by her love he remembered the time he promised her happiness. He knew for him she was the most beautiful woman in the world .
His endless love gave her the make over.

The softly curled hair falling on her forehead ,made her feel like a princess ,she stumbled with those high heels but she learnt to balance. Her outlined lips made her smile beautifully. The eye lashes fluttered gracefully. The cocktail gown was a perfect fit after shedding those extra pounds.
Finally came the days ,she dreamt of. She was lionized and adorned like a celebrity. The people turned and admired her beauty.
In her determination , to discover extreme ways of fun, she forgot there was the dumb who still loved her.
The dumb on the other hand knew about the hazardous effect of her fun. He was protective but he stepped aside as she denied to recognise him in public. The dumb cried his eyes out and let her go. And never forgot that “ she is just love”.

PRESENT

She realised it was only the dumb she loved . the dumb was so lucky to meet her in the time when she was nothing to feel proud of.
No,it was just the other way round it was the dumb who brought her LUCK.
She stopped her long tiresome dwelling on the subject “love”. She ran to the dumb and hugged him.
THIS TIME SHE PERFECTLY REALISED HIS BROAD SHOULDERS AND STRONG ARMS ARE HER “HAVEN”.

The REBEL and the big DOPE

“ so now you have to incubate it at 45 degree celsius for 20 minutes and then again at 90 degrees for 15mins to denature the protein content.....” the lab assistant spoke ,i again went back to my sleep. The bio process lab actually labs are just for show off.. they are neva strict, not atleast in ma university...
“ aravind you are the most and only decent boy in my class... just wonderful , the way u behave..”
The voice was pleasing but the words were hurting. Cause its the same person somani i like ,from the first day of the college..
I raised my head and they all lauged at me .. (all including somani) . they commented on my low waist jeans to my shabby hair hiding my eyes.. this time i faced her “ why do u think hes the only decent boy in class.., y not me or someone else...”
“its coz u r the waste bein i have ever seen ..do u think with this funky underwear show by wearin low waist and blahber mouth, ppl gonna say u decent.??waoh!! “
“so u wan a shy boy who ll have his shirts tugged in pompously and properly combed hair with a sealed lips but how ll u judge what is he frm inside. U girls r just so naive!!... c’mon yaar i’m not even into smoking or drinking and yeah no doping too” i said looking at aravind
“ but i obviously don wan him to be some one who speaks unnecessary stuffs and keeps on confusing ppl”
“oh really do i confuse ppl ???? i don think so ... unlike you u ppl i ask my doubts which the proff cant clear is not my mistake ,so i simply say the proff to stop the lectuer cause its of no use to me.. moreover i’m not afraid of the arrear consequences ...”
“and yes i certainly wont agree to a person who abuses for no genuine reasons”
“ oh seriously!!!! Its because of u ppl , everytime u mock at or comment me. i have to raise my middle finger cause if i dont, then these stuffs will become whirlwind inside me and i ll start hating everybody n soon ll become a zombie!! And there would ll be no difference between u and me”
Somani was staring at me , i stared back at her equally.. she seemed to be sure that there exists no soft corner in me...
Looking towars aravind”hey dude, no offence,just kiddinn,no hard feelings”. Good that he was kool with that..
i turned the other way n pretended to have a “i don care” attitude.and stopped thinkin what took place few minutes ago...
in the evening..
aravind me n dinesh sat in rachit’s flat while rohan brought the stuff .. i donno y he sulked and said” i hate this chennai stuff they rnt that effective as andra’s...”
aravind taught me how to roll the paper and sniff that powder... a current ran down through my spine.. i was shaking .. it felt every nerve of mine is goin to burst.. i could barely speak.. i was shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely... nothin seemed to be normal till hours , as if i wer in a different world...
*the rebel who always urged for things to be done in their right way.. doped out of frustration...
when aravind offered me for the second round....I WAS GONE.

MEMORIES: A SHADOW THAT FOLLOWS ME ROUND

I woke up by some noise, i wanned some more sleep.. but the noise was too loud... frustrated i stood up, to find what it was.... is it meenakshi blasting her boyfriend again?? , but it seemed to some kinda cheers by a grp of ppl..
Found my roomie’s note sticked to my cupboard “ jas, me goin out with pawan most probably to beach, if you go newhe jus hang the keys in the key board... allrite .. n i just hope you wake up for ur lunch :P.. bye sweetie ..tc.. n yeah happy holi”....
Holi!!!. Oh god..
I slid open the window .. “c block rocks, holi hai!!!!!!” those block girls shoutin ,screaming n shreiking...first time i saw so many colours outside thru my window... happy to see those ppl but equally jealous to have fun like tat with frenzs..old frenzs..
....................
“open the door jas” the thirteen yr old fatso akhil banged the door of my room..
“no i wont, i knw you ll put colours on me”... i was such a colour-o- phobic.... holi is some day i go underground...
“Arrey no , see even me is not playing holi, and i need ur maths note book.. that p.k is gonna take the test tomorrow”
As soon as he finished this sentence, i opened the door “really ,but when pk sir...”
“ aa haan suprise suprise” shouted maya
I tried to get back into the room but jyoti dragged me out.
And all went busy painting me.. red , yellow, green , and yeah the horrible permanent one...
Omg !!!!!for this reason i didnt speak to akhil ...
I didnt knew how he digested my buggin brain storming baby egoistic dialouges “ akhil . i thot u r my best frnd , you broke my trust... akhil if the same thing i would have done with you how would you have felt huh..????”and blah blah....
“sorry jas i wont do this again, i neva knew it ll hurt you so this much” akhil was pleading as if we wer some grown up ppl..
“ur sorry wont bring me my trust back”said the arrogant jas.. the sorry cards left in her bag in tutions didnt made her think that “ a chance should be given” to her only best frend....
Untill june ,When the heavy monsoon , made everyone happy for “rainy day” leave... and in one such rainy day aunty called up “ jasmin, its akhil’s bday... ll be waitin for u ok beta...”
“ yes aunty sure”i said without thinkin
In the party... akhil was obviously the centre of attraction ...he came to me ,i wished him... but i didnt find the same akhil who was pleading for “ sorry”...he was changed , with a new set of frends.. the informal things changed into formalities n rules...and this is how i first lost something special.. and neva came a second chance for me... when i came out of the party i felt myself all alone..
The Woofer system’s terrific sound “ rang barse bighe chunar wali.....” brought me back out of the old memories.. again it was me ,7 yrs frm thn ,inside the room but nobody knocked at the door... no akhil ,no noone
Looking down thru the window i saw someone waving at me ... aparna ma classmate... she waved me to come down n play holi... i shut my window .... opened the door n went downstairs... and still wondered what made me colour-o-philic!!!
[Inside the room the cell phone beeped..
“at your door...
Knock!knock! its me wd a spalsh f colors 2 wish u a holi filld wd lots f fun,colors n celebrations..
HAPPY HOLI!!!!! Hv a gr8 tym....
AKHIL.... HOPE U REMBR.:)..??]

IT WAS ME, THEY WERE NEVA WRONG....

I’m shubendu mandal , cse 3rd yr.....
but this incidence was when i was in the first year....
“ noooo... need to go” mom odered over phone....she thought m a kid .. due to several reasons
1) First experience living in hostels
2) And m her only son
3) After all she Is my mom

It wasn’t that i ignore whateva she advice...but i was in a habit..! habit of doin where i found extreme fun...
the chain smoking stuff and beer night is what described the real FUN... but indian moms have a sixth sense abt thr children..
i rembr when i had the first drag of a ciggarette and was coughing ... just then mom called over phone.. “ sunny beta dont fall into bad habits..” ...
as i said , sunny was already into the habits of “fun”.
So for my mom i was in hostel but it was pondy where i was for my weekend....The beach ,resort and the the valid atmosphere to get high ......
At nite about two we sat in the relaxing cool of auro beach...After having three quaters of signature.. i heard jatin callin
“ sunny whe u goin man”
“ its morning i need to take bath else mom gonna scold me...”
“oh momma’s boy u already drunk”said sumeet...
“ u r drunk, u bloody f***ing frenzs spoilt me...”i said.
Everyones drunk energy laugh was all i could hear....
As i walked in the dark inside the sea... i swimmed for a distance... oh my god it was hellu va fun .... i felt i as if i was floating like apiece of log... and those ppl appeared like little ants..
JATIN !!!!!! HELP...this is what i sopke when i could not feel the land down my legs... i tried so hard to swim but all my energy was gone .. i was sinkin sinkin down in the sea...
HELP HELP!!!!!............
As i was falling freely by my feets down into the deep dark sea... dark may be because i closed my eyes cause may be i knew sunny has jus few seconds to go... i saw dad picking me after school, scolding me for all the school reports, the day i was thrashed by my favorite teacher at school... and the “sayoni “ song dedicated to sneha... i remembered her's was the face i neva forgot even though i tried to...
The water moved through my mouth ,nose to fill my lungs.i gave up pulling my self ..as i knew there was no chance to survive...mom’s sixth sense brought a rollin warm liquid down my eyes....
Like a flash back i saw all the stuffs happened in my life ... was this the purpose of my birth.
But i wanned to be alive ... how obivously i dreamt of dad to reach out his hand to save me like the time i learnt swimming..................................................................................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Like a fountain , the water was oozing outta my mouth..
I rembred the last time i closed my eyes , i was sure tat l could neva open it again...
I saw JATIN , SUMEET, ASHISH, AND ROHIT ....AND PERHAPS THE LIFE GAURD...
“ ur mom ” rohit gave my cell phone
“ MOM” and the next i found myself sinking.. THIS TIME IT WAS MY VOICE

MY CRUSH/LOVE DON’T COST A THING

a secret crush since three years..my god !!!! i rembr the day i saw him when he came and sat beside me during 1st year: the model exams .thanks SRM for shufflin seniors and juniors during exams.. i never thought i would ever fall in love with a popular guy... by the way who is gonna fall in love with a girl like me... big frame golden rimmed spectacles, dark skin, and few extra pounds.what is left out pimples huh.... ?.
“You just need a make over , thats it .” said komal my sweet rocking roomie(sometime i feel she is made for vipul). . And go pubbing he should know what jas is.?.. and rembr just ignore him, he ll understand you..!
thoughts dissappeared and....
ONE FINE DAY
I knew no matter what ever i do vipul wont notice me. Rather i was feeling terrible.. the scarlet nail polish were as if the disco lights fixed and me was ready to dance like mithun da “ i’m a disco dancer.. pa para parap”.. the lipstick and gloss over it,made my lips heavy and fall down like a sad smiley.. but i rembr how komal told me to keep a smile every time and not to walk like a haunched back and how to ignore vipul..
.”just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”.. her words ringing in my head.. okie komal ll do it this time ..sure...?!!!
Alone i sat there in the sophisticated chair , and saw the pub tender crushing the ice cubes...
“ hey gal ,nice dress” as i turned .. ah there stood my same old 3 yr dream crush ( just ignore him babes,thn he ll understand you”)
“ thanks” and i turned away to order “ vodka : ice in blue”.
“ ice in blue , hmm good taste haan, neways m vipul”
Looking at him and for the first time to his squinted (a bit )eyes i found .. i found....
“ just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”
( komal!!! bad timing)
Ice in blue in one go.. no i wasnt drunk ,may be his presence made me high...
Is it that my medulla wasnt working ... “ vipul malhotra , you r the biggest torture of my life .. whenever i see you i feel like a dumbo.. i feel the ugliest being born..and u knw what ur attitude sucks.and yes m ur junior.might not have noticed rite..” nothing was visible to me any more.. i snatched the capiroska glass frm vipul..
“dont mix drinks”shouted vipul
no matter how strong it was ..nanoseconds : the whole drink inside me... NOW what is called a medulla?

I found someones hand supporting me ... opened my eyes to found vipul... . “ ll love you as i have been frm ages... you can break my heart its with you.. always and forever.. vipul...”
“i’m there” ofcourse it was him. He put me in back in that sophisticated chairs... the sound of the pub tender crushing the ice... “
TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN
“jassss switch off that shit alarm” shouted komal..
“ a dream!!!!!!!!!!! komal i just had a dream of vipul”
“ when u don’t.. huh.. sick u r!!!”komal spoke as if she was pissed off...
“ no he was speakin to me actually” i spoke wearing my big framed golden rimmed spectacles..
komal spoke “ JUST IGNORE HIM BABES,THEN HE LL UNDERSTAND YOU”

I NEED AN ANSWER

“ paanch rupiya” said the coffee wale bhaiya

i took out the ten rupee note from my purse .. looking at shilpi i said. “ shill do you need coffee”
she was damn busy reading the magazine that i guessed “no” is what she said...
the coffee was almost overflowing ...few drops spilled on my kurti...f*** men, a awful journey in the sleeper class, and this coffee stain on my favorite kurti...and yet more four hours to reach bhubaneswar...and this i-pods battery is over.. bloody bad day..

i tried to look through the window to find out what was the station. But it was almost dark ... may be a small halt.. not a station for main trains. God i ll neva take train if so then not in sleeper class atleast.

Just then many ppl rushed inside our compartment. And soon it was packed with weird smell. And a whole lot of noise. And a man abusing his wife for she didnt listen to what he said. I guess these ppl had no resevation as they sat in the floor covering up all the passage.

an old woman made herself way to sleep in the floor just near ma seat,she almost kept her head touching ma feet. Near to the rlc seat , in the passage sat his grandson.
He was almost five year old ,a torn monkey cap ,a taterred with finely absorbed dirt sweater was what he had for the freezing cold. He was almost sleepy, i could see how badly he needed his sleep.
But each times his eyes dropped i see ppl kicking him while making their way through the passage. One after other they kicked him, he woke up every time, ppl abused him as he sat on their way. Every time they kicked and abused him he kept his head down and said “ maffi de do sahib”.(oh god his tounge cldnt even pronounce properly.). for some ppl his words were irritating. They knowingly kicked him again and went on.
As i looked at him i found some thing wet rolling down ma cheeks. Was i crying for this..?
Shilpi came and sat beside and said “ what happened why r u crying , we r goin home nah, don worry next time we ll book in ac, pakka..”
Though the tears stopped but the reason was not this.

“y shill these ppl r not born to our fate, and look at him how polite he is to every one, but he gets just the opposite frm them??”
“ see jasmin u cant find a reason .actually there is no reason.. no one can answer this.but some how we can conclude . we can say may be his karma the last birth so y he has born to a poor family ... and the ppl bein rude to him are fools as they are preparing themselves to be like him the next birth”
“ i don need conclusions i need y is it happening , a five year old cant be judged from his past births if so then ll have to delete the word like kids and innocence from the dictionary”
Shilpi didnt answer or may be she couldn’t
“ oye aja idhar baithe ( come here and sit)” shilpi called the boy near to our seat . he came and sat down near to his grandma’s head, away from that passage seat.within few seconds his eyes dropped..and hes wasnt disturbed frm what he wanted.. the sleep
The sleeper class didnt make me feel awful anymore..
I could just now but laugh at the coffee stain on my kurti....
perhaps I GOT THE ANSWER... ?????? or i need to SEEK FOR IT...........

THE GRADUATION 2 [ DESTINED INTRODUCTION]

(my first day at the srm university )
“Aparna chawla, delhi”
“komal chandra , kerela”
“Ruby acharya, agra” ............
As the introduction session was nearing me, it was only me who knew how weird i felt. It wasn’t not only because i was a bit shy but more than that i hated to present my surname “lenka” infront of everyone.
I can’t imagine the class laughing at me. This was my first introdution to the ppl with whom i have to stay for four long years..:(..
Well, to tell you, getting this surname-o-phobia wasn’t not right from the time when i heard/understood my surname .. actually the incident goes like this:
My dad was transferred to cuttack when i just finished my fifth grade. leaving old frenzs ,old city ..and evrything ,i went to my new school , “stewart school”.. most unlucky shit thing was i got the admission between the terms...i was new and helpless at the school.
As i was giving my introduction to my sixth grade class:
“i’m jasmin lenka ,
I completed my 5th grade from vems, bhubaneswar”
Standing infront of the class and giving a introduction was not that tough, moreover i was never shy since kid.
I was next to say about my dad occupation when the whole class laughed like lunatics , i could just make out the high pitch comments.
“what lanka”? screamed a boy from some corner of the class perhaps ..
“lime and lemony lanka lanka( the add of limca those days)” it was not the same boy but someone else
And the flow of laughter continued till my teacher stamped the duster on the table and odered “ quite everyone.... i said quite”
All became quite by then but the last comment was yet to come
“sri-lanka , where is ravan” the boy in the first row shouted.
Oh boy!!!Got guts .. huh... have mine too
Within a micro seconds from his comment timing ,i found him near the place where he sat and then
A tight slap on his fair cheek.
He stood up to my height and pulled my hairs till the tears rolled down ma cheeks.
Two minutes from then, stanley (the boy who commented me)and me infront of the pricipal’s office.. Guess what my dad was called on the first day itself..
The next after the incident with stanley ,i changed three more schools but never revealed my surname in public..
Now i’m in graduation , and so grown up to think even to hit anyone. Moreover
Nobody would demand me to know the surname, if i dont feel like revealing it.
“hello miss!”
“Wake up”
Uff who is that disturbing my thoughts
“you allright, lady?” said the proffessor
Oh oh the introduction
“i’m jasmin lenka “
“i completed my 5th grade from vems, bhubaneswar”
“fifth grade! Is it what ! Great! How are you into graduation without passing the other grades”teased the lecture with his silly smile.
A bit of proffessional laugh in the class..
Crap ! what did i say! The sixth standard intro! I’m so dead!
A boy from the last bench laughed like lunatics and i didn’t turn back to look at his state of treating my first intro
“all right guys.. no need to over react!” said the proffessor
But he couldn’t stop his hilarious laugh..i wondered if my intro had nitrous oxide (laughing gas) effects..
i couldn’t help but turn back to look the way he was moonstruck...
“ oh my God!!!!!!!!! Stanley ...you!!!
SMALL WORLD ..HUH..