Wednesday, August 12, 2009

THE THEORY OF "MOVING ON"/"GETTING OVER"


I sat there with the feelings, feelings that will never be considered and wont bother me after few months when I will be on my own way to some new place ,lost in between new faces,,
The akka picked up my empty can and the half eaten papdi chat plate… sh*t , I could have lend her a smile..
Third page ”cat application”, the lame brain tried to solve . one hundred and fifty minutes and ninety questions to answer. Well to bell the cat was never easy for the super genius ..so lets not talk about my reach for luck.. but overall it was a good distraction from the feelings..huh!! Feelings !!! again tough luck!!!
The helplessly vibrating cell phone displayed “his” name. some stuff gushed up into my heart, I knew it was my overweening pride that has swollen my nose,which made me so irate, not to think of answering the call… but somewhere rather the heart ache continued seeing the call , not being answered…
There he took the opposite table like a secret admirer who follows you everywhere without your prior knowledge.. he smiled . I smiled back
Sh*t!! my!! My!! Poor me!! How could I even forget those insomnia filled nights when I decided neither to smile first nor to smile back…
Waste of feeling on someone.. the one who weakens you, makes you bent down on your knees and fall right down on your face,further that someone forgets to lend a hand to help.. if this “hurt” feeling is called LOVE, then it is destroying me.. but still thanks to him ,it gave me the power to heal the aching heart..
Everyone seemed so friendly except for me and when I raised my head to see him, I found him falling in the same category of exception. Quite!! Very quite!! His eyes fixed to one of the corner of the table as if lost in some deeprooted thoughts,some thing agitating him make his eye brows curve several times.
But who told me to take the blame, where was the overweening pride..sorry!! very sorry!! Please call me once again , I shall speak…dying to speak.
Shall I dial his number, when again I raised my head ..the chair was empty.. huh!!! These esoteric thoughts nearly killed me….
Suddenly I realized that its high time , I didn’t take my medication which was always suppose to flow through my veins.. this drug is necessary for me when the under expressive condition irresolute me..
For that you must have a best friend!!! So I dialed up “THE” number ..
“Pragyan !! ah huh huh.. uwaa!! I hate this life!!!”
“ aww!! Babes !! again depression !! leave it re!!! he is a born jerk… duh!! ..you very well know is is just flirting ..rather a two timing..kill the short feeling honey!! You rock being single..
Two and half hour… the drugs was again all through me…..the life quote shots of my best friend brought my nerves and dimply smile back … now no feelings seeing his name in the call list..
Rather I was overwhelmed seeing my pride or whatever rejoicing over some stupid feelings..ah!!! finally nothing can weaken me NOT EVEN A JUGGERNAUT…

1 comment:

  1. ya i know!!! its truly and completely abt u..ego rules u..every1 knows;)

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