The Message

At NIO. The nurse gave her a tissue, she put her face up.  The nurse filled her eyes with some drops,she was said to sit for 15 minutes in the same position. He was way across reading into the newspaper , staring at her at times . He had no expression on his face that  changed to a wrinkle horror as the eye-drop brought her tears down.

I had to rush back, just rush back. I met cousin Nisha on my way . I told her everything. But she had to ask me “Are you sure?” .I remember her cart wheel within when I broke down the news. She was happy.I wasn’t. She tried her best to convince me. “I am blind” I said and smiled at her.

I knew where I can find him. As I walked down LaneA. I was dragged inside by Maria ,who can notice any soul and bring their inner child out. She danced .Everyone followed “bring out the inner child”. I tried to get my unique moves. The child in me was out there . I asked Maria ,why is he not here? And why the crowd in here less in number and she sure can do much better . She showed me the way as a part of her  unique moves.

The kid was not willing to remember the “E-string”. He struggled with his smile and the kid’s innocence. I pulled a chair. Content,happy and the music  yet so comforting. He is probably gay for anything high pitched,I thought. So ,I am not going to see him anymore.  May be we are just alike, equal  troubles, similar brought up,related pattern of anxiety. Too similar to handle each other and not care to show any of the emotions.

 But I had to leave the place before he gets to know why I was there.

I had to face Maria and her group before my way out. I could still hear them say to bring out the inner child . I was smiling , cause I always have smiled in all those deep moments. Maria and her crowd came in closed  circled and would not let me go without more of  unique moves.  Finally,I managed to get  out of the place and started to walk on Lane A again.

Hearing my name, I turned  to my left. I heard him say something.

Paper People!

We met after good long years. But nothing has changed ever since. Then we were spoilt teenagers figuring out ways to fix ourselves .And now we sit here in our mid twenties taking about our journey so far and days to come.

Do we need someone? All your life you have lived in restriction and suddenly your parents plan for you to marry some stranger. The society is a bit more than hypocrite. And why shouldn’t they be?

Fear of society does keep most of the people in check.  And here we don’t care about society because we didn’t get anything respectable of it. It damaged us bad!

We are ok leaving alone! We will not fall in love unless it is passionate and extra-ordinary, we will not compromise into marrying a person just to adjust and spend the rest of our lives. Money doesn’t worry us, materials don’t attract us. We are not religious but believe in action.

We will run away to places in the world where it is more peaceful and easier than present.  We vent out in studying, writing, traveling and making friends. Friends like us!

We are emotional anchor yet in trance to just let go!

So as my friends leave after the good weekend .  I realized we have been way ahead of our time since forever. Somewhere we wish to be kids again , be a regular person and mix in the society , abide the rules and create the  fear. But we are just not you!

The Lies, we believe

A sunshine strip on your face, Ah! the angel  I see

Some pleasing talk, but so far all we hear, just another lie

We wish to convey   the truth that we have already known

The mixture of feelings simply holds back when we smile

The talks we talk, yet no outlet for the supersonic  silence

We are two similar reflection , deep down departed of all emotions

And capable enough to come out, if we uncover, the rooted fears

How long are we suppose to just go with the flow, crib and cry?

How we wish by now,we must end,end all unreal imaginations

Questions we have always asked, Answers! I swear we know.

Long and very slow, bewildered we have woken up, and cried

The world we fight, Funny! how one similar thought, calms us down.

The instant happiness to dominate each other, be sorry the next second

How long should we portray, play above and below, who is greater?

Should we let the sincere reason we know each other, go to the trash?

Amusing! We break the broken soul and again pray for miracles to cure

The untraceable stories , the source, the topic we can't start

The bubble around us, the sheer honesty we can't bring out

The guilty concept that is trapped in, the blame we acknowledge

Addicted to trouble , reality we don't face, castles in air we make

Holding hands, figure out, we are not responsible for their mistakes

We have brought peace to world, even though painful, we did obey
I hope to tell you the faithful truth, Alas! I am just like you, unchanged
Imitate each other,fake a grin,we do wear our heart on our sleeves

:D

Beginning to End

He was looking for water everywhere, he just crawled, crawled till the next pool he believed, he has to reach the place, he wants to survive, he thought of his future but his body was giving up , he then  thought of the life he lived, all the  pleasure and pain were meant to be.

To his dismay, the pool was a mirage in the middle of the dessert. He gave up faith again, he knew he can’t survive, he will be lying there for days or a week may be,till he takes his last breath and the passerby will just find his naked skeleton. Funny! He was born naked too.

With a sudden jerk he woke up, he hoped for travelers with bottles of water, a bubble water bath, a swim.

 The brain knows your body needs water, makes you dream,you feel thirsty and you wake up with HOPE and lot of them. He forgot how he felt when he was in the dessert struggling for water, his thoughts then. Probably, like every man who forgets every feeling and just lives in the present. He can do mean things and not even care, proudly calls himself “the beast”.

He went straight into the kitchen and had a glass of water, then one more.

Priorities set!

1.Time
2.Words
3.Touch
4.Help
5.Gift

HAPPY and GAY

Karan, well managed curly locks part of which covered his forehead, flawless make up,the girly gait. What makes him more attractive is the class of artist he is, the way he plays with  colors on his canvas,a smile broken and unbroken, white angels diving into the ocean. The mysterious aura draws  every guy to know him better. He has a lot of good looking men followers. He was born to make everyone cheerful, with his humor that can crack up every soul rolling on the floor laughing.

In his lost and confused phase ,he was a wandering heart .He laughed and cried almost the same minute.His eyes lost ,desperate to make the world convince that it  is normal to love a man.His defination. He desired  to make his creativity a bliss,but he was occupied in  convincing the world about his sexuality. His parents pulled him down, begged ,screamed and cried .He was caught within the society of rules and condition applied. They chocked and suffocated him.

At his party ,there were may be hundred of men but the safest place a girl can be. He crashed in his own party, late! With a smoke in his hand, he went to his terrace  ,then he talked about his life, although he was  born to rich parents, he had his own rags to riches story to tell. And how he still struggles to fit in the society?

What have you achieved so far?

Karan: After a certain age, when whole of the world ask your parents “What does your son do”. Now they proudly say “You know him,he is successful and famous,Yes! happy and gay”

Almost there!

One crazy stuff, striked off my list
Two beats, my heart did miss



Three words that I always hear
Four seasons on being a pair



Five little fingers,asking for help
Six growning years,I thought of myself



Seven clues for you to trace ...
Eight ways you fall into a mess



Nine is saved when stiched on time
Ten to guess,the story of mine