The times we laughed , the times we cried…
The times we fought, the times were never enough…
Crowded by many , but where is the one like you??
The smile that made my day ,you held me up wheneva I fell…
There for me always sharing my joy n tears…
Waving goodbyes', we did part our ways…
Its true time just flies by…
Don’t move further away , I want to know why…??
Hint me if this is love ….
Cause I never had a clue , for now m just feeling blue…
Story of a boy n a girl for sure,cause the feelings drain my tears…
I’m just lost in your eyes.. close to you ,safe forever….
Now I remember the arguments you let me win
Hah!! Just to realise , defeat was all mine..…
Kissing the memories , moment passes by...
Why is it not that easy?? Why is life so numb??
Why you never turned to believe my tears…
Pretending a smile , we walked a mile...
I don’t need reasons, I don’t blame you
I may not wait, I may stop believing in love…
yet a wish to find you in the crowd…
Thousand springs may it take but I ll look at you just the same…
.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
me "ME"
IMPERCEPTIVE, Hit me
SLUGGISH, Push me
CALLOUS, Hate me
UNUTTERED, hear me
CHAINED, free me
DESPISED, love me
SLUGGISH, Push me
CALLOUS, Hate me
UNUTTERED, hear me
CHAINED, free me
DESPISED, love me
Friday, June 25, 2010
MENTAL RECOVERY
Friends!! fans!! followers!!
How much does it take to become a freedom writer ??..,whatever i write has a colossal part that reflects my life, For believe me i know every feeling born, made and faked on this earth. The reason why i don’t blame my past ,is what i’m is all because of what i have been through.. . and when i say “ I” then its just me who takes all the credit of being alive till date.
i know how it feels to be in rags , how an empty stomach roars for food, how it feels to be bullied ,neglected, rejected, unprotected, when you know your parents are wrong and you sincerely don’t want to follow them , how it feels to jump off of a cliff, i even know how the heart pounds in case of drug over doses.. I know how to fake a laugh for a joke but later cry my eyes out in the ladies room. I know how it feels to be a slow head, stumbling upon everything, ...laughed at .
if You call this mental illness... then may be ..haven’t i been through enough of trauma?? I mean Who doesn’t have a bad childhood , i bet everyone at some point of their life must have felt the unfair pricks..,not all should be registered in a mental asylum .
i was so much used to the feelings, but i knew this is not what i was born for ... the purpose of my life... a thought well enough to escape somewhere far away. . so did i ..
I call that a second chance rather a second life in one birth to live for. This time i learnt it from complete strangers. i copied the way they walked , and i never stumbled . their smile took my breath away , even though it was a tough time copying their smile as it reflected their heart, but i had my part of success. they adored me soon they became a part of my life. And strangers were no more strange .. then it felt -how it feels like to have friends and the one who loved you the most irrespective of your flaws .thats when i realised the worth having a friend.A best friend . I read books , like say millions of books ,explored whole of the world .. somebody just rightly said that books are a man’s best friend.. they took me to the zulu tribes of Africa , i met gregor johann mendel and studied his pea plants traits, i was murdered , i was sad ,i was happy, i cried,i laughed..trust me!! You can live a lifetimeby just reading books..
Times roll on and soon the feeling of missing those strangers turned friends , depressed me everyday. But unlike me,They were happy everywhere .
I know how you float after a hangover , i know how it feels like to be stonned and the world’s lackadaisical activities, never bothers you.. . how it feels to loose free your hair and shake it to the highest volume . How it feels when the weed makes you feel your nervous system. And how to blahber and abuse your past so that its flushed out of you like sh*t. yes i learnt how to become that B*TCH..
Yet when i laugh at one such joke , i realise it just the same way i was laughed at . suddenly the past rebellious tears flood out of my eyes.
If you still call this mental illness , i would rather call it mental recovery...
How much does it take to become a freedom writer ??..,whatever i write has a colossal part that reflects my life, For believe me i know every feeling born, made and faked on this earth. The reason why i don’t blame my past ,is what i’m is all because of what i have been through.. . and when i say “ I” then its just me who takes all the credit of being alive till date.
i know how it feels to be in rags , how an empty stomach roars for food, how it feels to be bullied ,neglected, rejected, unprotected, when you know your parents are wrong and you sincerely don’t want to follow them , how it feels to jump off of a cliff, i even know how the heart pounds in case of drug over doses.. I know how to fake a laugh for a joke but later cry my eyes out in the ladies room. I know how it feels to be a slow head, stumbling upon everything, ...laughed at .
if You call this mental illness... then may be ..haven’t i been through enough of trauma?? I mean Who doesn’t have a bad childhood , i bet everyone at some point of their life must have felt the unfair pricks..,not all should be registered in a mental asylum .
i was so much used to the feelings, but i knew this is not what i was born for ... the purpose of my life... a thought well enough to escape somewhere far away. . so did i ..
I call that a second chance rather a second life in one birth to live for. This time i learnt it from complete strangers. i copied the way they walked , and i never stumbled . their smile took my breath away , even though it was a tough time copying their smile as it reflected their heart, but i had my part of success. they adored me soon they became a part of my life. And strangers were no more strange .. then it felt -how it feels like to have friends and the one who loved you the most irrespective of your flaws .thats when i realised the worth having a friend.A best friend . I read books , like say millions of books ,explored whole of the world .. somebody just rightly said that books are a man’s best friend.. they took me to the zulu tribes of Africa , i met gregor johann mendel and studied his pea plants traits, i was murdered , i was sad ,i was happy, i cried,i laughed..trust me!! You can live a lifetimeby just reading books..
Times roll on and soon the feeling of missing those strangers turned friends , depressed me everyday. But unlike me,They were happy everywhere .
I know how you float after a hangover , i know how it feels like to be stonned and the world’s lackadaisical activities, never bothers you.. . how it feels to loose free your hair and shake it to the highest volume . How it feels when the weed makes you feel your nervous system. And how to blahber and abuse your past so that its flushed out of you like sh*t. yes i learnt how to become that B*TCH..
Yet when i laugh at one such joke , i realise it just the same way i was laughed at . suddenly the past rebellious tears flood out of my eyes.
If you still call this mental illness , i would rather call it mental recovery...
Thursday, June 24, 2010
OBJECTIVE REALITY ??
She was not acting as a silly neurotic woman who believes in every bit of superstition. But even if she thought the whole situation in a scientific way yet she could not solve the mysterious meaning . why was her hair moving in a rhythmic to and fro manner when there was no slightest motion of wind,why it felt like someone stared at her from some corner of the room , a force that jammed her voice so that she could not shout for help. But why will she ask for help ,does not the house belong to her. Vidhya didn’t want to entertain these feelings. She went to her bed room, but still she could feel the invisible presence of something supernatural .
She tried to get some sleep. Her heart skipped a bit, when she heard a strange voice “vidhyaaa”. The uneasiness grew no bound , the terror persisted .she took her pillow ,put it over her head and pressed the pillow hard over her ears , still she could not stop hearing that voice which called out her name again and again. What was more unbearable , the invisible pulled the pillow and dragged her off her bed . Now she could feel its physical presence too. But she dare not open her eyes. She was slapped ,once ..twice..thrice. when the pain outshone her fear ,she opened her eyes ,cried to her horror misery. And more because of the painful slaps her flatmate planted on her cheeks.
“vidhyaa vidhyaa , wake up – you are getting late for work” . her flatmate shouted .she looked at the clock that striked 9.
Not a big deal ,she is scared in a daily routine manner. Let it be some ghost ,nightmare or her boss..all the same . what is reality anyway??
RUN VIDHYA RUN!!
She tried to get some sleep. Her heart skipped a bit, when she heard a strange voice “vidhyaaa”. The uneasiness grew no bound , the terror persisted .she took her pillow ,put it over her head and pressed the pillow hard over her ears , still she could not stop hearing that voice which called out her name again and again. What was more unbearable , the invisible pulled the pillow and dragged her off her bed . Now she could feel its physical presence too. But she dare not open her eyes. She was slapped ,once ..twice..thrice. when the pain outshone her fear ,she opened her eyes ,cried to her horror misery. And more because of the painful slaps her flatmate planted on her cheeks.
“vidhyaa vidhyaa , wake up – you are getting late for work” . her flatmate shouted .she looked at the clock that striked 9.
Not a big deal ,she is scared in a daily routine manner. Let it be some ghost ,nightmare or her boss..all the same . what is reality anyway??
RUN VIDHYA RUN!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
FAITH
... fast asleep on ma terrace (it was a some winter morning and the sun was so(o) comforting , and the breeze: comforting indeed.)
... woke up when something with the light current of air almost glued on ma face, it was a piece of paper ..it seemed there was an attempt to tear it apart. But somehow the writer’s heart was unwilling so y it was just creased n crumpled..
THE CONTENT -
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Naveen,
Before I could tell you the facts about my life I would like to tell you my life witnessed a marvel : its you. I remember when i lost faith in God. Looking up at the ceiling, I cried my eyes out.. I accused Him for the things that was happening to my life by then ,rather I charged Him from everything to everything. Before I could educate myself in school , I was out there learnin’ life’s lesson.
Why do I have to be faithful to Him ?? why do I always set a positive frame?? why can’t I go wrong?? And hence how I lost faith in all - powerful.
But the very day I met you , spoke with you , the times I spent with you – all my questions were answered. You - the guardian angel , the best surprise He had for me. The one who pulled me out of melancholy world and hold me in your arms tight enough to let slip the memories of havin’ a heart full of scars... HE choose you and you approved me.
But....
Everytime I look deep down into your flawless eyes ,i see the depth of your love but they call into questions :
“ why are you a thinker , an astral dreamer? What lies behind those eyes?? What pain checks your tears? What’s wrong ? what’s wrong??
I know these stuffs would sound you funny ,and you might say me to have a practical base in life. But I can’t face your silent queries so why i want you to know everything about me . yes i’m a dreamer – to be with you was the only dream i ever had. .
I just ask for time and patience to read the next few pages.. yet I know the consequences - I love you ...
“everybody has a past and it depends on the person you share”. When the person is the one you
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My sleep transformed into a desperate thought of “ what next”..but that was the only page i was ordained to read and wonder who could be my guardian angel??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)