MY DAFFODIL FIELDS

You were a complete stranger to whom I citied my naked soul. My days filled with soliloquies,my dreams to find the way to the peaceful daffodils. And when I met you I knew its you who can help me reach my destiny , the priceless fields. When I sat beside you and traveled across to the North ,the warming Sun yet the snow covered Mountains. I danced to the tune of Music with those heavy wear and the boots , I was FREE.

Then you held my hand, I am not sure if I was in love with you but a wish for few more miles together. For me the miles were endless, and you never left my side. We reached to our mountain range ,the daffodil fields were how I always knew , We were destined to be at that very place. Yes, I am in love with you.

But a wish  a dream are never easy to achieve. You were torn down by reality. Seeing you lifeless, I was torn by reality.Again. we are separated by two different worlds but the journey with you gave me strength to fight , to move , to live...

So, here I am . At  our mountain range ,the place we knew. And When I look into the daffodil fields, I see two kids staring at the mountain of Hope.

"Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
doesn’t make sense any more."
~ Rumi

Hey Yourself!

That day she decided to go for a movie . She walked  awhile until she reached Imax and booked the ticket. With a large popcorn box and coke in the other hand ,she  sat on the most comfortable seat.  There was this guy beside , he must have come unaccompanied ,she thought but arrived a girl and sat alongside him , and when ideas  looked clear she smiled and turned the other way to see what she assumed . They smiled at each other ,on track with small talks . They stood up for National Anthem.  He tried to begin a conversation but everyone stared at him for the noise in the middle of a silent movie. But they smiled at all and sundry

Well in the interval ,she wanted to converse  as well.They went out  in the intermission. The movie they never liked. “Should we go out somewhere. Seriously,the movie sucks”. She could not agree more.

They went out of the multiplex, it was awhile of a stormy weather. Her  hairs flew back and fouth  and they smiled at each other like always.  She nudged him with her elbow to show him the chai and the wada pav stall . Cutting chai, wada pav and the weather. Bliss!

And they both got wet.. They  smiled again. So after facing the drizzling rain for about fifteen minutes, he offered her to come to his home where he lived with his family and change to her sisters clothes. Her place as near too. But she was new to the city, if she said no she would not know few more people in his family.

She walked along with him. Walked for a while from his gate to the hall and reached his room. His Mom smiled and his sister gave her   casuals to wear.  She went to  the washroom to change. And when she came out ,he was standing there, dressed in dry clothes ,his hairs a bit wet. He slipped his feet for a moon walk  to reach  the remote and played the song .

“Pretty woman walking down the streets…  “ they karaoke with the song and danced around his room. His sister joined to sing and his mother  smiled and watched them from the door. Everyone started to laugh and breathtaking when the music stopped.

So why she wondered  they had this plan to meet as strangers for a day? 

I am where I should be!

5 year old ,best friend cried ,when I left the school

My father, to swim,made me jump into the pool

The bed time stories,my mother ,as she told

Life is beautiful  and magical as the stories unfold

Try as your might, to pass  all  the semster

The group we studied less and laughed more

Fickle was the mind, loud was the voice,rebel

Joined very one to change the system ,we fail

May be a little selfish, to fall for a cute guy

In college ,looking at him the days passed by

He smiles and exactly almost there I freeze

And he when calls , almost dead when he agrees

The job I got through , may be totally by fluke

But we were all smart like princess and duke

Having lunch with lame guys, we were so(o) broke

The juniors and farewell that made everyone choke

The day when my mother talked me to meet you

 Hates to see someone strange, out of the blue

First meet, and you hear the chronicles of Jasmin

And I laugh every time on your  tale of seventeen

As I sleep and dream, someone writes down my fate

It is going to be beautiful as it was amazing  till date

VOID!

I  talked to someone this spring
My long lost friend gave me a ring
 for  not around my finger,but Skype
And as ever asked me about my life

Well, Honey I am just doing right
why the hell were you out of sight
Said I always thought for your best
Now, tell me all and  about the rest

To say you it, i miss you till date
Even if I am calling so very late
On a moment like this ,sadness
Glad,you have friend , to access

Successful you are now mister
no place left ,you didn't conquer
It for you i followed my dream
You guide me when I went off-beam

I can't Forget the second of October
the smiles,hope that you remember
Wasn't it a long time ago,I guess
Life was easy yet in a total big mess

My God,Mature you have become
Yeah,time makes you over come
But i still believe in it the same
Doesn't bother me if it's lame

It's a change that makes you choose
It's true all good things,you lose
You liked those days,in love,in red
All that remain is a complete VOID

The LIGHT!

Chandran, I met him in the lobby of my office,where he sat with a visitor pass. As a kid I remember ,my Mom scared me saying he hallucinates ,goes all cranky and my grandpa makes  him drink water filled with cow dung so that he becomes normal. He was there to meet me and give me my home tucks that  my mother sent through him.

One afternoon,I must be 8 , I woke up to the noise , my neighbour said Chandra has got ghost into him . My mother ran to see him  , I went behind her.  There was Chandra , like a rebel fighting for the freedom of its soul, he flunged eveyone away. Four giant hulk  folks were not enough to power him down. He was trying to batter his brother . Some said its my grandmother , she never liked her eldest son. And indeed , it was a voice of a woman. my mother turned and saw me witness the whole event and slapped me on my face.

One summer vacation at grandpa’s place, I went to the terrace . Chandra was talking to himself , upon seeing me he asked “ your grandma says that you must study well and become an IAS officer and earn respect. But Mother, she should be what she wants to be “..he was again taking to himself and I was scared . I had to collect my books that  I left at the terrace .

“did you see the light ,like a rainbow,but of a single yellow color” he asked.

I asked him “where?”  may be I was curious.

He said he can’t point at it.I was so scared that I wished my mom comes to my rescue and whacks me again.

Suddenly I saw him drop to the ground and his mouth lathered. Now I know it was an epileptic attack. Chandran was then sent to rehab for an year , he recovered completely as they said. Currently, he is a professor at IIT Kanpur, married,two college going kids .I never saw him after that incident up until today.

He has grown relatively old .I took him to the cafeteria. He gave me the stuff my mother sent me .” I have a message for you .The light you will grasp soon and she was dishonest ,be what you want to be .She visits you and she is miserable to see you forlorn.You shoud get married.She glimpses a cheerful  life in your future.And she can’t wait” I started laughing and said “Uncle, I know my mom has sent this message through you. She wants me to get married. “

He revealed me the fact that he never went to the rehab at Mangalore instead he went to Delhi and was a yoga instructor there and then he completed his education. Now,He  just keeps everything to himself not even his wife. He has made peace with images and its light he sees. He says they guide and influence him.

As were leaving the cafeteria, my college friend bumped into me and said “Jasmin, I guess you are taking too much  of stress at work.You can talk to me , stop taking to yourself all alone”. I saw Chandran walk past me and disappear with the distance . A yellow patch of light persisted  in a certain corner angle of my right eye.

Love you like a Dream!

After  a thousand of discussion with Neal, finally I was there to meet his Dad,Mr.Rajiv. And after reading the book, i so want to meet the writer. Of course I aspired to be one.

In Darjeeling , it’s a remarkable attraction, and  beauty retains when you maintain.

I  have been driving almost 5 kms of striking  isolated area, when I finally came to Neal’s  place.

Neal came to receive me along with his elder sister. Mr.Rajiv was sitting in the sofa near to the  fire place. Mr.Rajiv was old and weak, he moved in his wheelchair with the help of a full time servant. Neal says his memory fades..

I saw Neal’s Mom . She was very pretty , her pony tail long enough to touch the ground. When I saw Rajiv his eyes , they reflected the same gleam I see in her’s. They must be totally in love.

As I entered Rajiv tried to greet me trying a bit to stand but he couldn’t. I was embarrassed, I greeted him back with a “ Hello Sir”

“Call me Rajiv, so does Neal and his sister. I feel young.  “ he said as he laughed.

“ The answer you seek. May be it lies with me.I will review your book” he added

I was not sure if I am going to tell him everything , I always thought it is intimidating. I could not start , wouldn’t it break his heart to re-visit the past?

“ Don’t worry, I would always like to go into the past as it my daily dose for happiness. To be there.”

Seeing him weak , I wanted to ask him about his health. This man who coached everyone at school of sportsmanship , is now old and gentle.

“Jasmin , you don’t have to say anything” Neal said.

“Yes,I know your curiosity and also everything is so much practical and faster moving in your generation.And I am proud to say Neal and his sister are good at completing other’s feeling“he said and looked at Neal’Mom,unbelievable resemblances  in their smiles. It pleased me how much he has put in for his children.

I never fell in love until I was 23 , when I was sure, found the right person as I thought to break my silence and may be a bit of me broke too..

Rajiv said “ The worth of love and unconditional love,  I understood now,on a wheel chair”

I met her when I was 23, the same town you guys went to school. she fell in love with me. She said her feeling , I said her I want to be a writer. And so shall she dreamt with me, the year when we were 23 , I never let her go. We were always together like two beans in a pod. Like we say everyone has the initial phase of knowing each other, it never passed for us. Until , I decided to leave  for my responsibility back home in Calcatta, my mother was sick. 

She was so supportive and never asked me about the future. While I left  she said “ Rajiv dear, be the writer you want to be”. Like you guys we didn’t have any means of contact, postcards were never the option as it always reached the girlfriend’s father. As the train was leaving I saw the tree just outside the station , as the tree faded,when I realised all my memories with her going to fade too. I never wanted to miss the sunset, hugs, talks,fights ,her smile. I thought I will get down at the next stop, and every station I thought so until I reached Calcatta,I never got the guts.

There he was in an isolated place where their love blossomed. I already  knew the rest of the story . It was in the book.

“Jasmin , as you think love is the same. It is a dream, if you want it to be practical ,then its not love.

I was speechless when he asked me “ any part of the book I have ever experienced”

I knew no one who sees my dreams  .What is there to hang in when its no worth. Rajiv’s love story was put into so many tests. She never left his side. I can’t imagine anyone will do for their love that way.

After our lunch, I was sitting on the sofa while everyone was taking a nap. I stared at Neal’s mom Photograph. Her long hairs, her love filled eyes. She must have been 30s when she died. Why did Rajiv never moved on? . it looked she will come back to life how thankful  she to him for keeping her love immortal in his heart and raising their kids all alone .No, I think   if she would come out of the photograph she will  fight with him for not forgetting her , for living in a very isolated place alone(so what if it was their dream place to grow old with eachother )and for not marrying someone else. But when he will say“he was happy remembering her everyday, writing her” she would calm down and hug him back.

I thank Neal for introducing me to the book and its author Mr. Rajiv.