THE story of " BEING DUMB"

PRESENT

Jesus !!! she wasn’t feeling a bit. She wondered why she was doing a worthless drama.when she that was just infatuation , something that happens to people every other second. the reason was not because he was just a crush. But she thought what she is experiencing for some one else is “ he is just love”

Cheering up her crush at the stage, she knew it was nothing but some false feeling getting exposed. Actually she was in a habit of not expressing the truth which she felt deep with in.

when someone became happy for being cheered by so many girls,in some corner the DUMB thought “ had I been that lucky boy??
But the dumb can never relate that the girl shouting the name of her crush is just to exaggerate the fact the dumb is not being shown any love.
Nobody was bothered to look for the other side. The dumb was loved completely .she thought only about him. Now she was not scared of how unpopular she will become ,when she will be going out with this very unpopular dumb guy.

PAST

Well the reason she has fallen for the dumb guy began when she was naïve ,so innocent to know anything. She was a ugly duckling of her college.when people looked up to her and said “yhew!! get aside”. That was the time the dumb showed her manifold kindness.
Everyone’s obnoxious behaviour was replaced by his “friendship”. He reached to her and held her hand, she felt all the pleasing thoughts by introducing herself to something new called LOVE.

One day she cried not because she was in love with the dumb but she was unable to take the odious comments of the public.
The dumb was fully conquered by her love he remembered the time he promised her happiness. He knew for him she was the most beautiful woman in the world .
His endless love gave her the make over.

The softly curled hair falling on her forehead ,made her feel like a princess ,she stumbled with those high heels but she learnt to balance. Her outlined lips made her smile beautifully. The eye lashes fluttered gracefully. The cocktail gown was a perfect fit after shedding those extra pounds.
Finally came the days ,she dreamt of. She was lionized and adorned like a celebrity. The people turned and admired her beauty.
In her determination , to discover extreme ways of fun, she forgot there was the dumb who still loved her.
The dumb on the other hand knew about the hazardous effect of her fun. He was protective but he stepped aside as she denied to recognise him in public. The dumb cried his eyes out and let her go. And never forgot that “ she is just love”.

PRESENT

She realised it was only the dumb she loved . the dumb was so lucky to meet her in the time when she was nothing to feel proud of.
No,it was just the other way round it was the dumb who brought her LUCK.
She stopped her long tiresome dwelling on the subject “love”. She ran to the dumb and hugged him.
THIS TIME SHE PERFECTLY REALISED HIS BROAD SHOULDERS AND STRONG ARMS ARE HER “HAVEN”.

The REBEL and the big DOPE

“ so now you have to incubate it at 45 degree celsius for 20 minutes and then again at 90 degrees for 15mins to denature the protein content.....” the lab assistant spoke ,i again went back to my sleep. The bio process lab actually labs are just for show off.. they are neva strict, not atleast in ma university...
“ aravind you are the most and only decent boy in my class... just wonderful , the way u behave..”
The voice was pleasing but the words were hurting. Cause its the same person somani i like ,from the first day of the college..
I raised my head and they all lauged at me .. (all including somani) . they commented on my low waist jeans to my shabby hair hiding my eyes.. this time i faced her “ why do u think hes the only decent boy in class.., y not me or someone else...”
“its coz u r the waste bein i have ever seen ..do u think with this funky underwear show by wearin low waist and blahber mouth, ppl gonna say u decent.??waoh!! “
“so u wan a shy boy who ll have his shirts tugged in pompously and properly combed hair with a sealed lips but how ll u judge what is he frm inside. U girls r just so naive!!... c’mon yaar i’m not even into smoking or drinking and yeah no doping too” i said looking at aravind
“ but i obviously don wan him to be some one who speaks unnecessary stuffs and keeps on confusing ppl”
“oh really do i confuse ppl ???? i don think so ... unlike you u ppl i ask my doubts which the proff cant clear is not my mistake ,so i simply say the proff to stop the lectuer cause its of no use to me.. moreover i’m not afraid of the arrear consequences ...”
“and yes i certainly wont agree to a person who abuses for no genuine reasons”
“ oh seriously!!!! Its because of u ppl , everytime u mock at or comment me. i have to raise my middle finger cause if i dont, then these stuffs will become whirlwind inside me and i ll start hating everybody n soon ll become a zombie!! And there would ll be no difference between u and me”
Somani was staring at me , i stared back at her equally.. she seemed to be sure that there exists no soft corner in me...
Looking towars aravind”hey dude, no offence,just kiddinn,no hard feelings”. Good that he was kool with that..
i turned the other way n pretended to have a “i don care” attitude.and stopped thinkin what took place few minutes ago...
in the evening..
aravind me n dinesh sat in rachit’s flat while rohan brought the stuff .. i donno y he sulked and said” i hate this chennai stuff they rnt that effective as andra’s...”
aravind taught me how to roll the paper and sniff that powder... a current ran down through my spine.. i was shaking .. it felt every nerve of mine is goin to burst.. i could barely speak.. i was shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely... nothin seemed to be normal till hours , as if i wer in a different world...
*the rebel who always urged for things to be done in their right way.. doped out of frustration...
when aravind offered me for the second round....I WAS GONE.

MEMORIES: A SHADOW THAT FOLLOWS ME ROUND

I woke up by some noise, i wanned some more sleep.. but the noise was too loud... frustrated i stood up, to find what it was.... is it meenakshi blasting her boyfriend again?? , but it seemed to some kinda cheers by a grp of ppl..
Found my roomie’s note sticked to my cupboard “ jas, me goin out with pawan most probably to beach, if you go newhe jus hang the keys in the key board... allrite .. n i just hope you wake up for ur lunch :P.. bye sweetie ..tc.. n yeah happy holi”....
Holi!!!. Oh god..
I slid open the window .. “c block rocks, holi hai!!!!!!” those block girls shoutin ,screaming n shreiking...first time i saw so many colours outside thru my window... happy to see those ppl but equally jealous to have fun like tat with frenzs..old frenzs..
....................
“open the door jas” the thirteen yr old fatso akhil banged the door of my room..
“no i wont, i knw you ll put colours on me”... i was such a colour-o- phobic.... holi is some day i go underground...
“Arrey no , see even me is not playing holi, and i need ur maths note book.. that p.k is gonna take the test tomorrow”
As soon as he finished this sentence, i opened the door “really ,but when pk sir...”
“ aa haan suprise suprise” shouted maya
I tried to get back into the room but jyoti dragged me out.
And all went busy painting me.. red , yellow, green , and yeah the horrible permanent one...
Omg !!!!!for this reason i didnt speak to akhil ...
I didnt knew how he digested my buggin brain storming baby egoistic dialouges “ akhil . i thot u r my best frnd , you broke my trust... akhil if the same thing i would have done with you how would you have felt huh..????”and blah blah....
“sorry jas i wont do this again, i neva knew it ll hurt you so this much” akhil was pleading as if we wer some grown up ppl..
“ur sorry wont bring me my trust back”said the arrogant jas.. the sorry cards left in her bag in tutions didnt made her think that “ a chance should be given” to her only best frend....
Untill june ,When the heavy monsoon , made everyone happy for “rainy day” leave... and in one such rainy day aunty called up “ jasmin, its akhil’s bday... ll be waitin for u ok beta...”
“ yes aunty sure”i said without thinkin
In the party... akhil was obviously the centre of attraction ...he came to me ,i wished him... but i didnt find the same akhil who was pleading for “ sorry”...he was changed , with a new set of frends.. the informal things changed into formalities n rules...and this is how i first lost something special.. and neva came a second chance for me... when i came out of the party i felt myself all alone..
The Woofer system’s terrific sound “ rang barse bighe chunar wali.....” brought me back out of the old memories.. again it was me ,7 yrs frm thn ,inside the room but nobody knocked at the door... no akhil ,no noone
Looking down thru the window i saw someone waving at me ... aparna ma classmate... she waved me to come down n play holi... i shut my window .... opened the door n went downstairs... and still wondered what made me colour-o-philic!!!
[Inside the room the cell phone beeped..
“at your door...
Knock!knock! its me wd a spalsh f colors 2 wish u a holi filld wd lots f fun,colors n celebrations..
HAPPY HOLI!!!!! Hv a gr8 tym....
AKHIL.... HOPE U REMBR.:)..??]

IT WAS ME, THEY WERE NEVA WRONG....

I’m shubendu mandal , cse 3rd yr.....
but this incidence was when i was in the first year....
“ noooo... need to go” mom odered over phone....she thought m a kid .. due to several reasons
1) First experience living in hostels
2) And m her only son
3) After all she Is my mom

It wasn’t that i ignore whateva she advice...but i was in a habit..! habit of doin where i found extreme fun...
the chain smoking stuff and beer night is what described the real FUN... but indian moms have a sixth sense abt thr children..
i rembr when i had the first drag of a ciggarette and was coughing ... just then mom called over phone.. “ sunny beta dont fall into bad habits..” ...
as i said , sunny was already into the habits of “fun”.
So for my mom i was in hostel but it was pondy where i was for my weekend....The beach ,resort and the the valid atmosphere to get high ......
At nite about two we sat in the relaxing cool of auro beach...After having three quaters of signature.. i heard jatin callin
“ sunny whe u goin man”
“ its morning i need to take bath else mom gonna scold me...”
“oh momma’s boy u already drunk”said sumeet...
“ u r drunk, u bloody f***ing frenzs spoilt me...”i said.
Everyones drunk energy laugh was all i could hear....
As i walked in the dark inside the sea... i swimmed for a distance... oh my god it was hellu va fun .... i felt i as if i was floating like apiece of log... and those ppl appeared like little ants..
JATIN !!!!!! HELP...this is what i sopke when i could not feel the land down my legs... i tried so hard to swim but all my energy was gone .. i was sinkin sinkin down in the sea...
HELP HELP!!!!!............
As i was falling freely by my feets down into the deep dark sea... dark may be because i closed my eyes cause may be i knew sunny has jus few seconds to go... i saw dad picking me after school, scolding me for all the school reports, the day i was thrashed by my favorite teacher at school... and the “sayoni “ song dedicated to sneha... i remembered her's was the face i neva forgot even though i tried to...
The water moved through my mouth ,nose to fill my lungs.i gave up pulling my self ..as i knew there was no chance to survive...mom’s sixth sense brought a rollin warm liquid down my eyes....
Like a flash back i saw all the stuffs happened in my life ... was this the purpose of my birth.
But i wanned to be alive ... how obivously i dreamt of dad to reach out his hand to save me like the time i learnt swimming..................................................................................................................................................

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Like a fountain , the water was oozing outta my mouth..
I rembred the last time i closed my eyes , i was sure tat l could neva open it again...
I saw JATIN , SUMEET, ASHISH, AND ROHIT ....AND PERHAPS THE LIFE GAURD...
“ ur mom ” rohit gave my cell phone
“ MOM” and the next i found myself sinking.. THIS TIME IT WAS MY VOICE

MY CRUSH/LOVE DON’T COST A THING

a secret crush since three years..my god !!!! i rembr the day i saw him when he came and sat beside me during 1st year: the model exams .thanks SRM for shufflin seniors and juniors during exams.. i never thought i would ever fall in love with a popular guy... by the way who is gonna fall in love with a girl like me... big frame golden rimmed spectacles, dark skin, and few extra pounds.what is left out pimples huh.... ?.
“You just need a make over , thats it .” said komal my sweet rocking roomie(sometime i feel she is made for vipul). . And go pubbing he should know what jas is.?.. and rembr just ignore him, he ll understand you..!
thoughts dissappeared and....
ONE FINE DAY
I knew no matter what ever i do vipul wont notice me. Rather i was feeling terrible.. the scarlet nail polish were as if the disco lights fixed and me was ready to dance like mithun da “ i’m a disco dancer.. pa para parap”.. the lipstick and gloss over it,made my lips heavy and fall down like a sad smiley.. but i rembr how komal told me to keep a smile every time and not to walk like a haunched back and how to ignore vipul..
.”just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”.. her words ringing in my head.. okie komal ll do it this time ..sure...?!!!
Alone i sat there in the sophisticated chair , and saw the pub tender crushing the ice cubes...
“ hey gal ,nice dress” as i turned .. ah there stood my same old 3 yr dream crush ( just ignore him babes,thn he ll understand you”)
“ thanks” and i turned away to order “ vodka : ice in blue”.
“ ice in blue , hmm good taste haan, neways m vipul”
Looking at him and for the first time to his squinted (a bit )eyes i found .. i found....
“ just ignore him babes,then he ll understand you”
( komal!!! bad timing)
Ice in blue in one go.. no i wasnt drunk ,may be his presence made me high...
Is it that my medulla wasnt working ... “ vipul malhotra , you r the biggest torture of my life .. whenever i see you i feel like a dumbo.. i feel the ugliest being born..and u knw what ur attitude sucks.and yes m ur junior.might not have noticed rite..” nothing was visible to me any more.. i snatched the capiroska glass frm vipul..
“dont mix drinks”shouted vipul
no matter how strong it was ..nanoseconds : the whole drink inside me... NOW what is called a medulla?

I found someones hand supporting me ... opened my eyes to found vipul... . “ ll love you as i have been frm ages... you can break my heart its with you.. always and forever.. vipul...”
“i’m there” ofcourse it was him. He put me in back in that sophisticated chairs... the sound of the pub tender crushing the ice... “
TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN TRIN
“jassss switch off that shit alarm” shouted komal..
“ a dream!!!!!!!!!!! komal i just had a dream of vipul”
“ when u don’t.. huh.. sick u r!!!”komal spoke as if she was pissed off...
“ no he was speakin to me actually” i spoke wearing my big framed golden rimmed spectacles..
komal spoke “ JUST IGNORE HIM BABES,THEN HE LL UNDERSTAND YOU”

I NEED AN ANSWER

“ paanch rupiya” said the coffee wale bhaiya

i took out the ten rupee note from my purse .. looking at shilpi i said. “ shill do you need coffee”
she was damn busy reading the magazine that i guessed “no” is what she said...
the coffee was almost overflowing ...few drops spilled on my kurti...f*** men, a awful journey in the sleeper class, and this coffee stain on my favorite kurti...and yet more four hours to reach bhubaneswar...and this i-pods battery is over.. bloody bad day..

i tried to look through the window to find out what was the station. But it was almost dark ... may be a small halt.. not a station for main trains. God i ll neva take train if so then not in sleeper class atleast.

Just then many ppl rushed inside our compartment. And soon it was packed with weird smell. And a whole lot of noise. And a man abusing his wife for she didnt listen to what he said. I guess these ppl had no resevation as they sat in the floor covering up all the passage.

an old woman made herself way to sleep in the floor just near ma seat,she almost kept her head touching ma feet. Near to the rlc seat , in the passage sat his grandson.
He was almost five year old ,a torn monkey cap ,a taterred with finely absorbed dirt sweater was what he had for the freezing cold. He was almost sleepy, i could see how badly he needed his sleep.
But each times his eyes dropped i see ppl kicking him while making their way through the passage. One after other they kicked him, he woke up every time, ppl abused him as he sat on their way. Every time they kicked and abused him he kept his head down and said “ maffi de do sahib”.(oh god his tounge cldnt even pronounce properly.). for some ppl his words were irritating. They knowingly kicked him again and went on.
As i looked at him i found some thing wet rolling down ma cheeks. Was i crying for this..?
Shilpi came and sat beside and said “ what happened why r u crying , we r goin home nah, don worry next time we ll book in ac, pakka..”
Though the tears stopped but the reason was not this.

“y shill these ppl r not born to our fate, and look at him how polite he is to every one, but he gets just the opposite frm them??”
“ see jasmin u cant find a reason .actually there is no reason.. no one can answer this.but some how we can conclude . we can say may be his karma the last birth so y he has born to a poor family ... and the ppl bein rude to him are fools as they are preparing themselves to be like him the next birth”
“ i don need conclusions i need y is it happening , a five year old cant be judged from his past births if so then ll have to delete the word like kids and innocence from the dictionary”
Shilpi didnt answer or may be she couldn’t
“ oye aja idhar baithe ( come here and sit)” shilpi called the boy near to our seat . he came and sat down near to his grandma’s head, away from that passage seat.within few seconds his eyes dropped..and hes wasnt disturbed frm what he wanted.. the sleep
The sleeper class didnt make me feel awful anymore..
I could just now but laugh at the coffee stain on my kurti....
perhaps I GOT THE ANSWER... ?????? or i need to SEEK FOR IT...........

THE GRADUATION 2 [ DESTINED INTRODUCTION]

(my first day at the srm university )
“Aparna chawla, delhi”
“komal chandra , kerela”
“Ruby acharya, agra” ............
As the introduction session was nearing me, it was only me who knew how weird i felt. It wasn’t not only because i was a bit shy but more than that i hated to present my surname “lenka” infront of everyone.
I can’t imagine the class laughing at me. This was my first introdution to the ppl with whom i have to stay for four long years..:(..
Well, to tell you, getting this surname-o-phobia wasn’t not right from the time when i heard/understood my surname .. actually the incident goes like this:
My dad was transferred to cuttack when i just finished my fifth grade. leaving old frenzs ,old city ..and evrything ,i went to my new school , “stewart school”.. most unlucky shit thing was i got the admission between the terms...i was new and helpless at the school.
As i was giving my introduction to my sixth grade class:
“i’m jasmin lenka ,
I completed my 5th grade from vems, bhubaneswar”
Standing infront of the class and giving a introduction was not that tough, moreover i was never shy since kid.
I was next to say about my dad occupation when the whole class laughed like lunatics , i could just make out the high pitch comments.
“what lanka”? screamed a boy from some corner of the class perhaps ..
“lime and lemony lanka lanka( the add of limca those days)” it was not the same boy but someone else
And the flow of laughter continued till my teacher stamped the duster on the table and odered “ quite everyone.... i said quite”
All became quite by then but the last comment was yet to come
“sri-lanka , where is ravan” the boy in the first row shouted.
Oh boy!!!Got guts .. huh... have mine too
Within a micro seconds from his comment timing ,i found him near the place where he sat and then
A tight slap on his fair cheek.
He stood up to my height and pulled my hairs till the tears rolled down ma cheeks.
Two minutes from then, stanley (the boy who commented me)and me infront of the pricipal’s office.. Guess what my dad was called on the first day itself..
The next after the incident with stanley ,i changed three more schools but never revealed my surname in public..
Now i’m in graduation , and so grown up to think even to hit anyone. Moreover
Nobody would demand me to know the surname, if i dont feel like revealing it.
“hello miss!”
“Wake up”
Uff who is that disturbing my thoughts
“you allright, lady?” said the proffessor
Oh oh the introduction
“i’m jasmin lenka “
“i completed my 5th grade from vems, bhubaneswar”
“fifth grade! Is it what ! Great! How are you into graduation without passing the other grades”teased the lecture with his silly smile.
A bit of proffessional laugh in the class..
Crap ! what did i say! The sixth standard intro! I’m so dead!
A boy from the last bench laughed like lunatics and i didn’t turn back to look at his state of treating my first intro
“all right guys.. no need to over react!” said the proffessor
But he couldn’t stop his hilarious laugh..i wondered if my intro had nitrous oxide (laughing gas) effects..
i couldn’t help but turn back to look the way he was moonstruck...
“ oh my God!!!!!!!!! Stanley ...you!!!
SMALL WORLD ..HUH..